West Ham v Arsenal – single word review and player ratings


In the first of an experimental new series, we look at the individual performances against West Ham, rate them out of 10 and provide a single word review of their day.

Please note, we reserve the right to invent our own words at any time. Or, when circustmances dictate, use more than one word which may or may not include words we’ve invented.

Vito Mannone: 6/10 – ok

Carl Jenkinson: 7/10 – solid

Per Mertesacker: 7/10 – improvable

Thomas from Ireland: 7/10 – safer

Kieran Gibbs: 7/10 – strained

Mikel Arteta: 10/10 – impeccable

Aaron Ramsey: 7/10 – busy

Santi Cazorla: 9/10 – magical

Gervinho: 6/10 – bypassed

Lukas Podolski: 7/10 – assisty

Olivier Giroud: 9/10 – scoretacular


Andre Santos: 7/10 – focused

Theo Walcott: 8/10 – effective

Feel free to discuss and post your own ratings, but the reason I say this kind of post is experimental is because such discussion often becomes stupid very quickly.

Normal comment policy applies, if you’re not familiar with them, please read.


  1. Not so sure we would have come back & won that game 2 seasons ago so over the moon this morning 🙂 Great to see Giroud get his first, was funny because it was probably the most difficult of all the chances he’s had so far haha! Santi is out of this world & who’d have thought Arteta would make us forget about Song so quickly 🙂 Just need jack back now.

    Thumb up 47 Thumb down 1

    • West ham fans so quite and were ssshhhhing us when they went in lead.
      Arsenal travelling fans- FANtastic.
      West ham fans- opera?

      Thumb up 36 Thumb down 1

  2. Isn’t Cazorla’s celebration slightly similar to Le Bob’s celebration against liverpool when he scored that screamer during 03-04?

    Thumb up 3 Thumb down 3

  3. Vito mannone – vital
    Jenkinson – lad.
    Mert – at per.
    santos – speedy.
    Cazorla – classzorla.
    Arteta – song who?

    Thumb up 38 Thumb down 2

  4. I’d say per deserves more than a 7, I can distinctly remember him making at least two crucial last man tackles.
    Also I thought arteta wasn’t at his best, looked a little tired to me, not that he played poorly, but not really a 10/10 performance like he put in against city for example.

    Thumb up 23 Thumb down 3

    • Agree with everything except for the Arteta part. Arteta’s easy to underrate because he isn’t the one scoring or (most of the time) making the assists, but we’d be sunk without him.

      Thumb up 5 Thumb down 1

  5. It’s amazing that with all the money being thrown around the transfer market but we manage to get hold of Arteta and Cazorla.

    Thumb up 22 Thumb down 1

  6. I have said before and I will mention it again, the way Fergus uses Ferdin should be the same way Wenger should use Merta. He seem to be slow, but he is brilliant in handling the defence. If the player is ahead of him, he should be offside unless played on by his lazy colleague. But as a last man, all others must be ahead of him in clearing the defence line.

    I know Kosc is a very good player, but he need Mertas to organise the defence.

    Thumb up 7 Thumb down 3

  7. I think Per deserves an 8 and Gibbs a 6. Maybe it was cause he was injured, but Gibbs made wasted some good chances with some horrific crosses. But still, love this article!

    Thumb up 9 Thumb down 2

  8. Oh man! Did we really pay only 15m for cazorla? He’s worth much much more. Credit to The boss for that. He produces some magical moments in every game.
    The goal he scored was fantastic but in another move he fooled the defender and looked destined to shoot but then he thread a nice little through ball for Giroud. Three or four defenders had no clue whatsoever about where the ball was? Simply brilliant stuff.

    Thumb up 22 Thumb down 1

    • And only 10 for Arteta — 10 for the best passer in all of Europe… and the third-best tackler. Now that’s amazing.

      Thumb up 6 Thumb down 2

  9. Very kind on gerviniho, i think your rose tinted glasses were on cause we won, for me 3/4 is more like it. i wouldnt give him starts in major games, hes a league cup player who needs time to get to first team level. He reminds me of theo, two years ago,without the pace.

    Thumb up 3 Thumb down 35

  10. well 99% accurate short passing rate is fine but i expect ARTETA to take long range shots and some honey butter sweet juicy pussy long pass more often. He cant be 10/10 . had we drawn the game u would rate him 6/10 for 99% passing . Lets not get carried away and connect the scoreline with Artetats shortpassing ability . 10/10 its just flattering. fcuk if disagree.

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 8

  11. The BFG is pure fucking class.

    That turn, swivel and shot was utter magic.

    Has to be the guaranteed CB starter and that’s ahead of our captain.

    Thumb up 4 Thumb down 1

  12. This concept – 3/10: hit-whore-y

    In fairness, all “ratings” and lists-type articles are. It’s minimum effort to generate content/hits. And it is exactly the opposite of “news.”

    The one-word player review is catchy, admittedly, but I’d prefer this fluff be added to the match report or the next day’s blog, if it must have a home somewhere.

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 11

  13. Well Giroud certainly did “pleasure the fans” 🙂

    I’d give Manone at least a 7/10 for that kick in the face! He was a contrast to Vaz te rolling around like an idiot he is for injuring himself.

    Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

  14. Mannone the Lord protect his own. Even though VAZ TE or VAZ TIT tried to hurt you the lord punished him with a shoulder injury. Oh lord let injury plague all teams that try to seek our down fall and let all the refrees without any reason award us plenty penalty as much as we deserve in JESUS name AMEN.

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here