Monday, September 29, 2014
West Ham v Arsenal – single word review and player ratings

West Ham v Arsenal – single word review and player ratings

In the first of an experimental new series, we look at the individual performances against West Ham, rate them out of 10 and provide a single word review of their day.

Please note, we reserve the right to invent our own words at any time. Or, when circustmances dictate, use more than one word which may or may not include words we’ve invented.

Vito Mannone: 6/10 – ok

Carl Jenkinson: 7/10 – solid

Per Mertesacker: 7/10 – improvable

Thomas from Ireland: 7/10 – safer

Kieran Gibbs: 7/10 – strained

Mikel Arteta: 10/10 – impeccable

Aaron Ramsey: 7/10 – busy

Santi Cazorla: 9/10 – magical

Gervinho: 6/10 – bypassed

Lukas Podolski: 7/10 – assisty

Olivier Giroud: 9/10 – scoretacular


Andre Santos: 7/10 – focused

Theo Walcott: 8/10 – effective

Feel free to discuss and post your own ratings, but the reason I say this kind of post is experimental is because such discussion often becomes stupid very quickly.

Normal comment policy applies, if you’re not familiar with them, please read.



  1. Arteta and his Lego hair …. More effective than Song I feel

    Thumb up 142 Thumb down 0

  2. Haha blogs, well atleast you tried.
    Giroud…9/10= regirouvenated.

    Thumb up 349 Thumb down 0

  3. CAZORLAAA. For me 10/10.

    Thumb up 67 Thumb down 2

  4. blogs: 10/10 wondertastic

    Thumb up 35 Thumb down 7

  5. Cazorla defo a ten for me. It’s Christmas all season round for arsenal fans, because Santi just keeps giving.

    Thumb up 69 Thumb down 2

  6. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated Thumb up 14 Thumb down 117

  7. Not so sure we would have come back & won that game 2 seasons ago so over the moon this morning :) Great to see Giroud get his first, was funny because it was probably the most difficult of all the chances he’s had so far haha! Santi is out of this world & who’d have thought Arteta would make us forget about Song so quickly :) Just need jack back now.

    Thumb up 47 Thumb down 1

  8. Loving the concept Blogs.

    Oh and West Ham fans – 0/10

    Fucking ingrates that Puny Pubis would be proud of

    Thumb up 30 Thumb down 2

    • West ham fans so quite and were ssshhhhing us when they went in lead.
      Arsenal travelling fans- FANtastic.
      West ham fans- opera?

      Thumb up 36 Thumb down 1

  9. GaryFootscrayAustralia

    This Article: 9/10 – Quality.

    Thumb up 40 Thumb down 4

  10. Would so love to see Stoke v/s West Ham. Not.

    Thumb up 21 Thumb down 3

  11. Haha.. one word ratings are gooooood!

    Thumb up 16 Thumb down 2

  12. Isn’t Cazorla’s celebration slightly similar to Le Bob’s celebration against liverpool when he scored that screamer during 03-04?

    Thumb up 3 Thumb down 3


    Commentators 1/10- Partial

    Thumb up 41 Thumb down 2

  14. Arteta: 10/10 – Artetaesque.

    Thumb up 35 Thumb down 3

  15. Like the ratings, but would like a few more words. But nice new feature!

    Thumb up 6 Thumb down 11

  16. Away fans: 10/10 – supercazorlisticespialidocious

    Thumb up 50 Thumb down 3

  17. Vito mannone – vital
    Jenkinson – lad.
    Mert – at per.
    santos – speedy.
    Cazorla – classzorla.
    Arteta – song who?

    Thumb up 38 Thumb down 2

    • Ha ha, well thought out sir!

      Thumb up 4 Thumb down 2

    • Yeah, I actually think Mannone doesn’t get enough credit. He’s working hard, got in some great saves AND withstood that kick to the face like a champ.

      Thumb up 20 Thumb down 1

      • He seems to have found confidence, and I can’t say there’s been a single goal let in that was an EASY save to make… all of the goals seem to have been defender mix-ups.

        Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1

      • a solid back-up… he’s a bit scary coming out of goal though

        Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

  18. “Thomas from Ireland” = gold

    Thumb up 36 Thumb down 2

  19. I’d say per deserves more than a 7, I can distinctly remember him making at least two crucial last man tackles.
    Also I thought arteta wasn’t at his best, looked a little tired to me, not that he played poorly, but not really a 10/10 performance like he put in against city for example.

    Thumb up 23 Thumb down 3

    • Agree with everything except for the Arteta part. Arteta’s easy to underrate because he isn’t the one scoring or (most of the time) making the assists, but we’d be sunk without him.

      Thumb up 5 Thumb down 1

  20. Santi Cazorla- absolutely ‘santisfying’ to watch

    Thumb up 25 Thumb down 3

  21. Arseblog 10/10 – Succinct

    Thumb up 19 Thumb down 1

  22. Missed out Koscielny

    Thumb up 25 Thumb down 1

  23. Steve Bould's hairdryer

    It’s amazing that with all the money being thrown around the transfer market but we manage to get hold of Arteta and Cazorla.

    Thumb up 22 Thumb down 1

  24. Fat Sam: 1/10 – walrus

    Thumb up 38 Thumb down 1

  25. Phil Dowd 1/10 “Terrylicious”

    Thumb up 33 Thumb down 1

  26. I have said before and I will mention it again, the way Fergus uses Ferdin should be the same way Wenger should use Merta. He seem to be slow, but he is brilliant in handling the defence. If the player is ahead of him, he should be offside unless played on by his lazy colleague. But as a last man, all others must be ahead of him in clearing the defence line.

    I know Kosc is a very good player, but he need Mertas to organise the defence.

    Thumb up 7 Thumb down 3

  27. Phil dowd – cunty.
    Vaz te – pathetic.
    Sam allardyce – obese.

    Thumb up 33 Thumb down 1

  28. All these one word ratings are making me reminisce…

    Thumb up 4 Thumb down 22

  29. I think Per deserves an 8 and Gibbs a 6. Maybe it was cause he was injured, but Gibbs made wasted some good chances with some horrific crosses. But still, love this article!

    Thumb up 9 Thumb down 2

  30. Oh man! Did we really pay only 15m for cazorla? He’s worth much much more. Credit to The boss for that. He produces some magical moments in every game.
    The goal he scored was fantastic but in another move he fooled the defender and looked destined to shoot but then he thread a nice little through ball for Giroud. Three or four defenders had no clue whatsoever about where the ball was? Simply brilliant stuff.

    Thumb up 22 Thumb down 1

    • And only 10 for Arteta — 10 for the best passer in all of Europe… and the third-best tackler. Now that’s amazing.

      Thumb up 6 Thumb down 2

  31. if santi can score 15 goals then he can as effective as fabregas……..we need a goal scoring midfielder

    Thumb up 4 Thumb down 12

    • We’re doing something here that’s special — goals coming from all over the place.

      Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

  32. I think Blogs missed this:
    Phil Dowd -10/10 Cuntish

    Thumb up 17 Thumb down 1

  33. West ham = 0/10 cunts!

    Thumb up 9 Thumb down 1

  34. Very kind on gerviniho, i think your rose tinted glasses were on cause we won, for me 3/4 is more like it. i wouldnt give him starts in major games, hes a league cup player who needs time to get to first team level. He reminds me of theo, two years ago,without the pace.

    Thumb up 3 Thumb down 35

  35. Love this game RE cap format! Good to see Giroud get one..

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

  36. New concept: 10/10: day-maker

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 2

  37. Well blogs, seems your experimental new feature is a massive success.
    Arseblog-110% “blogarific”

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

  38. Giroud: 10%/10% handsome

    Thumb up 4 Thumb down 2

  39. Arteta 9/10 – Legolicious
    Cazorla 10/10 – Santastic
    Giroud 9/10 – Girounimo

    Thumb up 14 Thumb down 0

  40. West Ham: 2/10 – relegatable


    Thumb up 9 Thumb down 1

  41. Ratings overrated by Arseblog after a win game: 6/10 – AbittooOptimistic

    Thumb up 3 Thumb down 10

  42. Sebastian Melmoth

    I would have like to see the word for Laurent.

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1

  43. Thomas from Ireland. Cracked me up for a good time there! Great reviews and thanks for the book!

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

  44. Gunner from asian village

    well 99% accurate short passing rate is fine but i expect ARTETA to take long range shots and some honey butter sweet juicy pussy long pass more often. He cant be 10/10 . had we drawn the game u would rate him 6/10 for 99% passing . Lets not get carried away and connect the scoreline with Artetats shortpassing ability . 10/10 its just flattering. fcuk if disagree.

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 8

  45. He's got no hair but we don't care...

    The BFG is pure fucking class.

    That turn, swivel and shot was utter magic.

    Has to be the guaranteed CB starter and that’s ahead of our captain.

    Thumb up 4 Thumb down 1

  46. santos: 140/10 – chauffeured

    Thumb up 11 Thumb down 1

  47. This concept – 3/10: hit-whore-y

    In fairness, all “ratings” and lists-type articles are. It’s minimum effort to generate content/hits. And it is exactly the opposite of “news.”

    The one-word player review is catchy, admittedly, but I’d prefer this fluff be added to the match report or the next day’s blog, if it must have a home somewhere.

    Thumb up 2 Thumb down 11

  48. Well Giroud certainly did “pleasure the fans” :)

    I’d give Manone at least a 7/10 for that kick in the face! He was a contrast to Vaz te rolling around like an idiot he is for injuring himself.

    Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

  49. santa classzola he CREATE CHANCES WHEN HE WANTS.

    Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

  50. Mannone the Lord protect his own. Even though VAZ TE or VAZ TIT tried to hurt you the lord punished him with a shoulder injury. Oh lord let injury plague all teams that try to seek our down fall and let all the refrees without any reason award us plenty penalty as much as we deserve in JESUS name AMEN.

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  51. The New Iceman from Iceland

    Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

If you would like your own avatar, go to and sign up there.
Scroll To Top