West Ham v Arsenal – single word review and player ratings

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In the first of an experimental new series, we look at the individual performances against West Ham, rate them out of 10 and provide a single word review of their day.

Please note, we reserve the right to invent our own words at any time. Or, when circustmances dictate, use more than one word which may or may not include words we’ve invented.

Vito Mannone: 6/10 – ok

Carl Jenkinson: 7/10 – solid

Per Mertesacker: 7/10 – improvable

Thomas from Ireland: 7/10 – safer

Kieran Gibbs: 7/10 – strained

Mikel Arteta: 10/10 – impeccable

Aaron Ramsey: 7/10 – busy

Santi Cazorla: 9/10 – magical

Gervinho: 6/10 – bypassed

Lukas Podolski: 7/10 – assisty

Olivier Giroud: 9/10 – scoretacular

Subs:

Andre Santos: 7/10 – focused

Theo Walcott: 8/10 – effective

Feel free to discuss and post your own ratings, but the reason I say this kind of post is experimental is because such discussion often becomes stupid very quickly.

Normal comment policy applies, if you’re not familiar with them, please read.

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88 Comments on "West Ham v Arsenal – single word review and player ratings"

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Sean

Arteta and his Lego hair …. More effective than Song I feel

Maddy

5 words over the limit

Alex

Artena- Songwho?

Wale

*Arteta…..

Even on the keyboard “n” is nowhere near “t”

Glenn

“Even on the keyboard “n” is nowhere near “t””

Unless you use Dvorak, in which case they’re right next to each other.

Niko

Now if only my other other other team real could win against those barca cunts. Hopefully song sees red for too much thigh porn.

goonerforlife

Song is playing at barca??? but I thought they just liked to play with his hair…

Niko

Well you thought like a 2 year old.

LesBlueLaGoon

take that nonsense somewhere else, buddy.

Oli

Haha blogs, well atleast you tried.
Giroud…9/10= regirouvenated.

Dhar

Phil Dowd: -10/10 = Blind

Smeagol

Dowd: 6/60 legallyblind

Marty

CAZORLAAA. For me 10/10.

Jomo

blogs: 10/10 wondertastic

Jeffo

Cazorla defo a ten for me. It’s Christmas all season round for arsenal fans, because Santi just keeps giving.

goonerforlife

We have been good boys this year havent we =)

feygooner

I would prefer longer reviews tbh. And aren’t the ratings a bit too generous?

Splonker

There’s always one.

Baldy

Not so sure we would have come back & won that game 2 seasons ago so over the moon this morning 🙂 Great to see Giroud get his first, was funny because it was probably the most difficult of all the chances he’s had so far haha! Santi is out of this world & who’d have thought Arteta would make us forget about Song so quickly 🙂 Just need jack back now.

big black clock

Loving the concept Blogs.

Oh and West Ham fans – 0/10

Fucking ingrates that Puny Pubis would be proud of

Comedian

West ham fans so quite and were ssshhhhing us when they went in lead.
Arsenal travelling fans- FANtastic.
West ham fans- opera?

GaryFootscrayAustralia
GaryFootscrayAustralia

This Article: 9/10 – Quality.

Parmeet

Would so love to see Stoke v/s West Ham. Not.

nikhil

Haha.. one word ratings are gooooood!

nishanth

Isn’t Cazorla’s celebration slightly similar to Le Bob’s celebration against liverpool when he scored that screamer during 03-04?

JEKINSON'S HAIRCUT

Commentators 1/10- Partial

Highberry

The dissapointment in thier voices when Cazorla scored was hilarious

Chris Wreh

Genuine deflation which turned into furious silence with subsequent 200 pass streak.

Peter

Arteta: 10/10 – Artetaesque.

The Franchise

Artestic?

Glen Helder's soul glow
Glen Helder's soul glow

wouldn’t that mean he’s a bit special?

Pyrrho

Our midfield Marshall goes to 11.

TJ

Like the ratings, but would like a few more words. But nice new feature!

MAllen

Away fans: 10/10 – supercazorlisticespialidocious

meh moody gooner

fans 10/10 fantastic!

Niko

Vito mannone – vital
Jenkinson – lad.
Mert – at per.
santos – speedy.
Cazorla – classzorla.
Arteta – song who?

Ed Ryan

Ha ha, well thought out sir!

austingooner

Yeah, I actually think Mannone doesn’t get enough credit. He’s working hard, got in some great saves AND withstood that kick to the face like a champ.

austingooner

He seems to have found confidence, and I can’t say there’s been a single goal let in that was an EASY save to make… all of the goals seem to have been defender mix-ups.

LesBlueLaGoon

a solid back-up… he’s a bit scary coming out of goal though

nujt

“Thomas from Ireland” = gold

goonero

I’d say per deserves more than a 7, I can distinctly remember him making at least two crucial last man tackles.
Also I thought arteta wasn’t at his best, looked a little tired to me, not that he played poorly, but not really a 10/10 performance like he put in against city for example.

austingooner

Agree with everything except for the Arteta part. Arteta’s easy to underrate because he isn’t the one scoring or (most of the time) making the assists, but we’d be sunk without him.

R.V.FEE

Santi Cazorla- absolutely ‘santisfying’ to watch

Goonerere

Arseblog 10/10 – Succinct

WGABFG

Missed out Koscielny

Steve Bould's hairdryer
Steve Bould's hairdryer

It’s amazing that with all the money being thrown around the transfer market but we manage to get hold of Arteta and Cazorla.

Santi's Class

Fat Sam: 1/10 – walrus

Rad Carrot

Phil Dowd 1/10 “Terrylicious”

diefenbaker

uhmm…Terry-fic…
i cant do this..ill just read instead

Hard Ogura

I have said before and I will mention it again, the way Fergus uses Ferdin should be the same way Wenger should use Merta. He seem to be slow, but he is brilliant in handling the defence. If the player is ahead of him, he should be offside unless played on by his lazy colleague. But as a last man, all others must be ahead of him in clearing the defence line.

I know Kosc is a very good player, but he need Mertas to organise the defence.

extreemee

Phil dowd – cunty.
Vaz te – pathetic.
Sam allardyce – obese.

OzGooner

All these one word ratings are making me reminisce…
I MISS FABREGAS D’X

austingooner

If anything, Arteta and Cazorla have made us forget Fabregas, the way they play…

Thundercunt

I think Per deserves an 8 and Gibbs a 6. Maybe it was cause he was injured, but Gibbs made wasted some good chances with some horrific crosses. But still, love this article!

Goona13

Oh man! Did we really pay only 15m for cazorla? He’s worth much much more. Credit to The boss for that. He produces some magical moments in every game.
The goal he scored was fantastic but in another move he fooled the defender and looked destined to shoot but then he thread a nice little through ball for Giroud. Three or four defenders had no clue whatsoever about where the ball was? Simply brilliant stuff.

austingooner

And only 10 for Arteta — 10 for the best passer in all of Europe… and the third-best tackler. Now that’s amazing.

manzzzm

if santi can score 15 goals then he can as effective as fabregas……..we need a goal scoring midfielder

austingooner

We’re doing something here that’s special — goals coming from all over the place.

aditya swarup

I think Blogs missed this:
Phil Dowd -10/10 Cuntish

Naija Gunner

West ham = 0/10 cunts!

Xio

Very kind on gerviniho, i think your rose tinted glasses were on cause we won, for me 3/4 is more like it. i wouldnt give him starts in major games, hes a league cup player who needs time to get to first team level. He reminds me of theo, two years ago,without the pace.

Gunner4life

Love this game RE cap format! Good to see Giroud get one..

Aaberg

New concept: 10/10: day-maker

R.V.FEE

Well blogs, seems your experimental new feature is a massive success.
Arseblog-110% “blogarific”

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Kcb263

Giroud: 10%/10% handsome

Arxavin

Arteta 9/10 – Legolicious
Cazorla 10/10 – Santastic
Giroud 9/10 – Girounimo

Scooter

West Ham: 2/10 – relegatable

Seriously.

Santi Clauzorla

Ratings overrated by Arseblog after a win game: 6/10 – AbittooOptimistic

Sebastian Melmoth

I would have like to see the word for Laurent.

Ashek

Thomas from Ireland. Cracked me up for a good time there! Great reviews and thanks for the book!

Gunner from asian village
Gunner from asian village

well 99% accurate short passing rate is fine but i expect ARTETA to take long range shots and some honey butter sweet juicy pussy long pass more often. He cant be 10/10 . had we drawn the game u would rate him 6/10 for 99% passing . Lets not get carried away and connect the scoreline with Artetats shortpassing ability . 10/10 its just flattering. fcuk if disagree.

He's got no hair but we don't care...
He's got no hair but we don't care...

The BFG is pure fucking class.

That turn, swivel and shot was utter magic.

Has to be the guaranteed CB starter and that’s ahead of our captain.

Chris Wreh

Dare I say he’s looking like a captain.

Bee

santos: 140/10 – chauffeured

Jasonissimo

Carpooled?

Butter my Arsenal

AndreSantaxi

Jasonissimo

This concept – 3/10: hit-whore-y

In fairness, all “ratings” and lists-type articles are. It’s minimum effort to generate content/hits. And it is exactly the opposite of “news.”

The one-word player review is catchy, admittedly, but I’d prefer this fluff be added to the match report or the next day’s blog, if it must have a home somewhere.

Quinze

Well Giroud certainly did “pleasure the fans” 🙂

I’d give Manone at least a 7/10 for that kick in the face! He was a contrast to Vaz te rolling around like an idiot he is for injuring himself.

sinero

santa classzola he CREATE CHANCES WHEN HE WANTS.

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