Arsenal v Fulham – single word review and player ratings


Time to trawl the dictionary and thesaurus for our single word player review and ratings after yesterday’s 3-3 draw with Fulham.

Please note, we reserve the right to invent our own words at any time. Or, when circumstances dictate, use more than one word which may or may not include words we’ve invented.

Vito Mannone: 2/10 – Linestuckian

Bacary Sagna: 6/10 – Sturdy

Per Mertesacker: 6/10 – noproblematical

Laurent Koscielny: 6/10 – trymungous

Thomas Vermaelen: 5/10 – droppable

Mikel Arteta: 4/10 – penalised

Francis Coquelin: 5/10 – cheeseyhelmet

Santi Cazorla: 5/10 – firework

Lukas Podolski: 6/10 – pokey

Theo Walcott: 8/10 – confusing

Olivier Giroud: 9/10 – nogginariffic


Aaron Ramsey: 2/10 – broken

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain: 6/10 – movementy

Andrei Arshavin: 5/10 – splonked

Feel free to discuss and post your own ratings, but normal comment policy applies. If you’re not familiar with it, please read.


      • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

        Poorly-rated Thumb up 14 Thumb down 66

      • Listen, all of us wants whats best for Arsenal(well most of us, anyway), point is you asking Wenger to step down or me asking him to stay forever will end up as an online argument and nothing more. The board decides on that, and unfortunately are made up of people who are willing to let things continue the way they are.

        The real question is, if the board so decides, is there really a proven manager better than Wenger who would be willing to come and turn things around for Arsenal. My humble opinion is no, and so its better we as fans get behind the man and help our team get through this rotten phase. Peace.

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      • Are you really that passive? With a wage bill of 143 million a year and a 7 million wage we couldn’t find a manager to get us better than fourth and win a cup against the like of Brims???? W

        And, I can see what is coming Arsene’s way I have been saying for two years here and read my lips again. ARSENE HAS FINISHED, HE WILL NEVER THE LEAGUE EVER AGAIN FFB or not he is the Brain Clough and Arrigo Sacchi in their later years. They were great but lost is, just as Arsene did.

        STOP loving Arsene more than The Arsenal, I know you are young and only new him since you started supporting The Arsenal ( as some deluded kid here say, he loved Arsene as a father LOL). But he is not bigger than The Arsenal!!!!.

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    • We don’t need to know what you just said on that other post on every single other post on Arseblog News. You can instead go to Le Grove.

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      • Sigh..we live in hope. I don’t know what can be done with this team at this stage. Can’t sack the manager, can’t buy players. And if we don’t arrest this slide, no one in their right mind would want to sign for us in January! Dear me.

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  1. Just a couple of points and thought I’d like to get across after a disappointing result.

    Interested to see what others thought of Podolski yesterday?
    I feel he’s been struggling quite a bit lately. Maybe he needs a bit of a breather?

    Santi (God bless his cheeky little face) has also seemed a tad off the pace and could probably use a little bit of rest.

    Vermaelen was probably better than he has been lately and hopefully he finds that level that he is capable of once again.

    I rarely Ramsey-bash but I think he had a pretty bad time of it yesterday. The boy is highly capable and will be one for the future but for now, he’s not quite ready. With more squad depth and less pressure on him, I think he would start shining in the League and FA Cups. But we don’t have that luxury, do we?

    As for some positives from yesterday’s game. Giroud is starting to show what he’s capable of. For the first time in a long time I feel like we have a genuine aerial threat! But he provides so much more than that with highly intelligent movement and strong hold up play. Koscielny is also beginning to regain some of last years form and I think he will prove just how valuable he is again this season.

    I think our biggest issue revolves around momentum. When we have the bit between our teeth – like just after Giroud’s second goal, you felt like we were going to smash in one more and take the three points. But then we relieve the pressure instead of going in for the kill. If I have one criticism of the lego-haired super hero is his tendency to always pass back to Mert/Kos/Verm even when we’re attacking. This allows our opponents to recover, re-organise and relieve the pressure. I think if we can hold onto our momentum a little longer, teams will begin to crack under the pressure.


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    • I am really surprised no one mention Arshavin and he only got 5!!!!.

      Did anyone saw how fast he sprinted for that ball on the added time?? He caused three corners and the pen in the space of 5 mins. I think he is like Theo has a point to prove now the team is sliding down and I believe Arsha will do for us what he did when he first arrived 4 years ago and pull us to top four.

      Mark my words.

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      • I just realized a theory about Arshavin. Let me put it out there.

        Arshavin is a very capable player but he’s on he;s last year. The club has already decided to get him of the wage bill because Ramseys a highly capable replacement (sigh…) . So the club cant play him regularly , for fear he might pull us out of this shitty phase we’re going through. if that happens surely the fans would demand that Arshavins contract be extended which goes against the clubs plans for revenue next year.

        Remember the objective is to make at least 15mil annually, everything else is secondary.

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    • I really feel sorry for Chamakh…he is very similar to Giroud and loves aerial battle but he was never provided the service because
      1. walcott was still crossing the ball all over Z row
      2. no one else bothered to cross or actually no one knew how to cross the ball across the danger zone where chamakh could plunder goals
      3. RVP was banging in goals left, right and center

      I would love to see Chamakh and Giroud play together…imagine the panic it will create in defense because of their aerial prowess, santi with his mazy runs , walcott and ox with their roadrunner speed..damn!! and the only reason why i am even daring to suggest is because whatever way the arsenal are playing isn’t working by country miles.

      So back to basic boys…good old english center forwards upfront and create panic with long balls and crosses. If tippy -tappy aint working hoof the ball…FFS chelski won CL with those tactics so shove that arsenal way of beautiful footie up the ass and just try to win something or anything…because after 3-4 years no one will bother how we won as long as we won something.

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  2. What I don’t get is ……Wenger has managed Bergkamp,Henry,Vieira etc he has gone unbeaten in a season and won the the double. He obviously knows a great player from a sub standard one. So how can he come out with this is the ‘best squad’,showed ‘great mental strength ‘ etc …..he is either lying for the sake of the board or more worryingly losing the plot. Either way,Leeds are going to have to knock Chelsea out of the COCup as there is no way we will win that as long as Chelsea are still in it. As for the league or the Champions league,I truly wouldn’t take 1000/1 that we win it in the next 5 years,let alone this season. As for who can take over,I’d go and get David Moyes,before United do.

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      • The budget is the board’s problem, not yours. Pep’s job would be to win things with the budget put at his disposal. Full stop. Your job is to support the team. Nothing more is required of you.

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      • Arsbleog hit the nail on the head..arsene can and arguably should be replaced and at most other clubs probably would have been, but that’s if you believe the blame lies at arsenea not sure it does, sure he has his faults, tactically he leaves you puzzled at times and his annoying habit of continuing with certain players that the rest of us just know they wil never be good enough for arsenal.
        But I honestly don’t think anyone else would get any more out of this team than arsene has done for the last seven years, yes maybe you would get that new manager lift at first but over the course of a few years ? I’m not so sure,
        The problem I have is why don’t arsene say something, he would have the backing of the fans if he did, that’s the doubt I have with arsene and wether this is down to him or not.
        But i doi believe the problem lies with board and the way the club is run, so any new manager would still have to work within the constraints the board impose on him.
        I have no idea what the answer is, maybe we have to get a lot worse and the grove has to empty a bit before the board realises we are not the cash cow they think we are and that arsenal fans cannot be taken for granted.
        I’m sure most on here also listen to the Tuesday club podcast, this weeks is brilliant, Alan Davies gives a 5 minute monologue about what it means to be a gooner and that not all fans that are not happy with the way things are being run are anti arsenal or as some say ” so called arsenal fans”
        FFP is a joke Chelsea have already shown that and many more will do the same so we will be in no stronger a postion on two years than we are now.
        I want may arsenal back ! One that fights for its fans, one that’s respects its supporters and don’t thank us for ” taking an interest in thier business” , I want the guy who runs the club to turn up for games and to feel some of what the fans do, what I don’t want anymore is stan or gazidis. Something has got to change and its only the fans that can do it..

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  3. Team overall – ohforfuck’ssake.

    what the fuck was wenger on about when post match he said, “We have shown that we can fight”, how about we start showing that we can/must defend properly and keep a lead, a lead.

    oh for fuck’s sake.

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  4. It’s a sad state of affairs when the only player who looks to carry the ball forward is Koscielny. Having Diaby back would double our go-forward.

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    • It’s a sad state of affairs when have to rely on a player who plays two-three games and then gets injured for the rest of the season. But the saddest thing
      is you know it will happen, and you do nothing about it. Nothing.

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    • FORGET Diaby. Write-off, total loss. Vey sad but post-injury he has proven that his body simply can’t handle it, last injury was shooting the ball FFS. The club should try to get insurance payoff on him like a wrecked car.

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      • Totally agree. He is done. Anyone citing RVP’s one glorious season as a reason to keep him really has no eye for the bigger picture. Ferguson has cast aside perma-crocks without too much sentimentality and gone on to win things. Wenger has not.

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    • 7 for me. He excelled much more in the second half, making absolutely amazing last ditch tackles and saving our asses at least twice.

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  5. Nothing will change till Wenger goes. He controls everything.
    This is a team he bought and selected. He buys good players and makes them look ordinary.

    We have a good squad and talented players. Yes we need a couple of world class signings. But more than anything we need a new manager

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      • Mate, I retired years ago.
        But supporting a team that can’t bat or bowl, well, they called me out of retirement. What should we do, Goochy?, they asked me.

        Get rid of the French cunt manager, I said

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    • “Get rid of the French cunt manager”….

      Sorry, are you an actual moron? I don’t even know where to start with this sentence. Take your complete and utter bollocks elsewhere

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    • If we were to measure your intelligence against Arsene Wenger’s, I would say it’s like comparing the brains of an ant with alzheimer’s to the grey matter of Steve Jobs. I would love to see you and Wenger face to face, and you to give him some of your 11-year-old barb “You French cunt” only to watch him scythe you down effortlessly like the impudent peasant you are; your severed head rolling down the hill of sense, coming rest on the piss-stained doorstep of Le Grove.

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  6. Arsenal – notenoughcontinuity

    I have never been convinced by Wenger tactically, he always seemed to pull it off by remaining committed to a style of play, his so called “principles”. However, this team looks like it is not being coached properly.

    Beyond that there are simply too many new players, either some are not good enough or the team needs to gel (weirdly, after starting well).

    Two big transfer mistakes. 1. selling song 2. not buying Mirellas, who looks a great ball carrying forward.

    Couple that with bad yet predictable injuries and you have a very poor arsenal side. In my opinion Wengers skill as a manager has never been tested like this before. He has had great teams, but has he ever had to turnaround a team in decline?

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  7. don’t mean to be a Ramsey troll but le coq coming off caused many counter attacks for Fulham. I don’t understand wengers desire to always play him. He slows our game down and cannot make a forward pass. We struggle enough getting the ball around we don’t him making it harder.

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    • No one seems to know why Ramsey was booked when Sidwell should have
      got a 2nd yellow.Was it for trying to get Sidwell correctly sent off?
      Dowd suddenly realised he hadn’t made a bad decision against AFC yet

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      • In the previous passage of play, he fell over, lost the ball to Ruiz and then tried grabbing a handful of Ruiz’s shirt as Ruiz went on the break.

        Good call actually, although it all seemed a bit weird given that the next break in play was Sidwell’s foul, which didn’t seem worthy of a yellow to be honest.

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  8. AW says how great the effort was to get back from 3-2.
    Arsene what decent team lets a 2-0 lead slip (twice in a week)
    Don’t praise the mediocrity that occurred after we went 2-0 up.I was convinced
    we were going to murder them but I should have known better from previous matches.This set of players currently do not have the ability or determination to
    kill a game off.

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  9. Giroud is looking like a looker who will be worth a lot of money at the end of the season. Mmmm more money for me and mr Stan he he… muahahahahah.

    (slithers away down the sewers)

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  10. Dear Arseblog; I agree wholeheartedly with your summation of players single word review as mentioned above.

    My comment is based on quickly a team player confidence can turn.

    Having watched Arteta in the final 30 minutes once he conceded the penalty to Fulham, I knew without question he would miss the wining penalty ( the keeper stopped him). His game just deteriorated immediately thereafter and yesterday at the Emirates I saw a player whose confidence is in the red.

    Both him and Santi need a sunshine break for 7 days to recharge the batteries

    Those of you “creaming” for Bould at the start of the season I can say without prejudice he is not the Messiah

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  11. Oh Yes before I forget.
    All we need is a 6 foot tall strong healthy midfield player who can tackle and pass forward and we will rock the EPL. Does Patrick Vieria got a younger kid brother in Senegal.

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  12. Movie rating

    Vermaelen—termimator ( he seems dead but were not so sure)

    Arteta— he seemed confused so, (dude where’s my car?)

    Ramsey- total recall (it’s that hard to know if he’s for real)

    Mannone — Armaggedon (its the end for him im afraid)

    Giroud —- step up (he stepped up to the occasion)

    And so on and so forth……

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    • I like how for Arteta you’d already forgotten your own format for listing the players and films. Also, the fact ‘Step Up’ was in there shows that you can’t be trusted.

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      • Dont usually comment on this single word review articles. Think its dumb.
        But since we;re on movies , how about

        Arsenal team – “Dr. Strangelove” ?

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  13. I think blogs got alittle more education than the rest of us. Da fuq is this? Keep it simple or keep it to your goddamn self.

    Arsenal – shitticus patheticus!!!!!!!!!!.

    (that should sum it up for ya!)

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  14. Kos 1st half 3 2nd half 9 Gus/Martin
    TV 2 Santossy
    Wengers time may or may not be up but he’s no cunt.
    Lets not forget who we’re playing next week no time for a civil war.

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  15. Now more than ever,I am convinced that Wenger has lost it. Presently I bliv this squad is far better than this display in last few weeks,I do not understand over and and over again we drop points to teams we should beat comfortably. I do understand if we drop to Citeh,Man Utd and Chelsea but to d like of Fulham,Norwich,Stoke, Sunderland,etc? Common! Can sum1 pls remind me the last time Wenger made a tactical substitution that won us the game? Have we been seeing SAF subs? Spot on! Who decides on which player to be bought? Who coaches the team?who determines how we play? Who should takes all the blame when the team is playing this bad? Who needs to go?

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  16. Im not advocating that wenger should go here, but dont you think mourinho would get this arsenal team where it should be? Challenge for titles, not whimpering along through a season.
    I know he is a bit of a numpty but he does know how to motivate a bunch of under performers and his teams generally know how to defend.

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  17. From the minute Silent Stan took over, it was said we would end up a mid table sports franchise. Kept good enough to keep the stadium full and armoury busy, but never spend enough to really compete.

    This is exactly as predicted, the only thing that has improved since his ownership is board salaries and profit.

    It’s time for some action, fans must make themselves heard and not put up with it.

    It does make you less of a supporter.

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    • The only problem is, Mourinho is a money manager. Yes he did well with Porto but they had a fairly large transfer fund (and were the biggest team in Portugal) and since, he’s only gone to clubs with essentially the unlimited funds cheat activated. It’s hard to know if he’s a very good manager or is just good at spending large sums of money to buy the best players and get them to play.
      It’s a bit like Guardiola. When you take over the best side in European football, that seem to have UEFA licking at your arse, it’s hard to know if he could do it with a less team with less money.

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  18. My take on the defence-these are four international-level defenders, and we know they can play excellent football, we’ve seen it. But it takes incredible desire to keep that top level up, and it takes a manager to continuously keep desire at the top, top level, either by carrot or stick (Fergie, Jose, etc), and tactics drilled in on the training ground then implemented on match day. We ain’t had that for a long while now…

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  19. far too harsh on mannone, the disorganised defense gave that guy a free header for the 2nd goal

    should take some of the points off sagna and mert and give them to him

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    • For the second goal a top class goalie would have saved that. So harsh to mannone is okay. He’s way too thick makes him less flexible. Bring back Schezzers, he’s also not world class but this is what we’re used to at arsenal.

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  20. For a team whose only ambition is to qualify for the champions league only to scramble out of the group stage and go out second round we are drearily consistent in this achievement. Why are we surprised when seemingly talented young footballers under perform when our sights are set so low. ?

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    • Badly at fault for first goal.If not conceded scoreline would have been different
      (Possibly).A forward should not be able to head in from that close at a corner.
      Has done a decent job but we all knew Chesney would return sooner than later.
      Far more inspiring character for team morale.

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  21. I cant believe Gooners actually believe we will sign Cavani for £30m!…..Lol no world class players wants to join us and what a coincidence the news broke (daily mail ofcourse) after the Fulham game! Papers and websites knew it would sell fast because we were on a low and news like this would get us all excited!

    This is what we will do.

    Bring back joel campbell and afobe after they have become miraculously world class over night. Probably sell walcott and fast track Gnabry into the team and say he’s been ready all along to do the job. Shut it!!!!!!

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  22. Being negative,Podolski’s absolute tripe on the left,he’s not quick or skillful and seems to have no desire to play there.move em inside.
    Why is it when we can’t concede we can’t score and when we can score we concede 144,567.23 goals?
    We are silly

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  23. I am undecided about zonal marking as we were always vulnerable at set pieces. I think our denfensive problems lie with poor communication. On paper all our defenders individually are a good standard. Apart from Santos who just simply has no idea. Collectively they don’t play well. No leadership. Vermaelen should be doing more to warn players when they are making mistakes. We miss Szczeny as he has leadership skills and cares when mistakes are made. He will be a top goal keeper in the future. Now he is not the finished article, which is why we badly need a good 2nd choice keeper. Manone is not the same quality. Good shot stopper but clueless at set pieces. He is a good 3rd choice keeper but should not be playing week in week out. Also we need a physical midfielder who can win back possession when we lose it. So on the shopping list should be a goal keeper, left back, defensive midfielder and another striker. Mertezaker should be given captaincy as Vermaelen is not a leader and his performances have dropped.

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  24. My one word review – Gibbs.
    Since Gibbs got injured at WHU we have conceded 15 goals in 7 games and looked much less of a threat going forward. Can any other team in the PL be as reliant on a left-back???
    Unfortunately it would appear that Wenger has lost the team and once that’s lost so is the manager.

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    • And Gibbs has NEVER been reliable (I mean, he’s ALWAYS injured). Who did Wenger envision playing on the left? Obviously he rates Santos higher than we do.

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  25. I would think we are losing our matches technically and to be honest that frightens me. Like Arseblog rightly puts it we have a stronger squad that should deliver more than they do but here’s my thoughts on why we’re not clicking as well as we should.
    Certain players developed partnerships too early. Take for example, Gibbs and Podolski. The left back ran the entire flank allowing the German to play more centrally. It’s no wonder Podolski suddenly looks like a tourist in games. More is required of him defensively and as a winger and quite frankly he couldn’t be bothered. At this point whoever you put at left back is going to suffer because of that.
    Another example is the absence of Diaby. He’s another very creative midfielder light years ahead of Ramsey who also has the ability to create space for Cazorla. (Remember the Liverpool game???). Now that he’s gone any team knows that to beat arsenal you just have to bully an overworked Cazorla out of it while an arrested Arteta will not be able to help. Hence our midfield is toothless. (Don’t you just miss a healthy Rosicky)?
    Andre Santos is not half as bad as he’s made to look. Arsene just has to learn to play to his strengths and not his weaknesses. He’s a better left winger than a left back and in my opinion better than Poldi in that position.
    Arshavin will always have bad days but he’s not going to get better by sitting on the bench. I think he’s better on his worst day and more creative than Aaron who is usually at his best when he comes off the bench.
    Lastly Theo should grow up or leave. He’s an unhealthy distraction. The best players in world like C.Ronaldo scored more goals last season than Theo has in all his years at Arsenal while playing as wingers!!!! Most of Theo’s goals have come not from playing center forward and I wonder which top level side will buy him at this stage to be their central striker. He’s no Tevez or Aguero .
    This is the Arsenal. We have players capable of winning this league. I sincerely believe that. How will that happen? Over to you, Mon Professeur.

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  26. ok think i need to comment.. I’m really contemplating going on the wenger out band wagon.. Love the guy.. But at the moment more negatives than positives.. Yeah he done all this amazing stuff for us.. But done is the optimum word here.. II dont think money is ever an excuse.. Because compare our wage bill to man united.. Not much less.. And yet the gap between us is way too big.. Why couldn’t we pay that cunt 200+ a week..? No ways.. Our money is spread over weigh too much dead weight that we carrying.. players we are not even using this season.. WTF..!? And tactically wenger doesn’t know how to win a game at the moment.. Inspired substitutions..? When last.. Honestly.. All I want is MY ARSENAL BACK..! :'( my beloved arsenal that rip teams to shreds.. The quality is never the problem.. Because fulham ddn’t have a lot of quality just berbatov and 2 others for the most and still they played.. Why can’t we just be organised..? Not concede.. Other teams do it.. And you can see when a team is well trained.. Well organised.. You can fucking see when a team is well coached.. Everton show it.. That’s all it is.. Just coaching..!!

    Rant over

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  27. Sadly, the best thing that can happen to us is we don’t qualify for the champions league next season. Remember the 8-2 loss and how it shocked Arsenal into buying 5 players (3 of which turned out to be good). Imagine how much change would be put into place if the board realized that their beloved money was in danger. Just a thought

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  28. Spurs game is starting to feel like a must win for Wenger to keep his job…fn wish it wasn’t. This team continues to find new ways to bum me out.

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  29. first i love sagna as a player, and his goals against everton and spurs.. but we are back to some old defensive habits. play jenkinson rb, and play sagna at left back..when sagna left back plays at left back he doesn’t bomb on so far forward, that sometimes gets the defense caught out on the break , when he’s in the other penatly box. imagine if it was sagna up against valencia not santos the other week at manure and jenkinson could have handled ashley young on this seasons form. jenkinson was quality in the excellent defensive start to season and him and bfg playing well together with understanding and communication. jenks is 6foot 4 excellent in air and from corners- see fulhams first and second goals. jenks would have got to the second not sagna who is looking little tired after long term injury and two games in a week.

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