Arsenal v Sp*rs – single word review and player ratings (David Bowie special)


Time to trawl the dictionary and thesaurus for our single word player review and ratings after yesterday’s 5-2 spanking of the scummery scummers.

Please note, we reserve the right to invent our own words at any time. Or, when circumstances dictate, use more than one word which may or may not include words we’ve invented.

Wojciech Szczesny: 6/10 – Changes

Bacary Sagna: 8/10 – Never let me down

Per Mertesacker: 8/10 – Let’s dance

Laurent Koscielny: 8/10 – Fantastic voyage

Thomas Vermaelen: 8/10 – Win

Mikel Arteta: 8/10 – Watch that man

Jack Wilshere: 8/10 – Wild eyed boy from freecloud

Santi Cazorla: 9/10 – Starman

Lukas Podolski: 8/10 – Sweet thing

Theo Walcott: 8/10 – Speed of life

Olivier Giroud: 8/10 – Oh, you pretty thing(s)


Andre Santos: 7/10 – Loving the alien

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain: 8/10 – Future legend

Aaron Ramsey: 6/10 It ain’t easy

Overall team ratings:

Arsenal: 10/10 – Heroes

Sp*rs:  0/10 – Zeroes

Bonus opponent rating:

Emmanuel Adebayor: 10/10 – Aladdin Sane

William Gallas: 1/10 – Richochet

AVB: No rating – Quicksand

Feel free to discuss and post your own ratings, but normal comment policy applies. If you’re not familiar with it, please read.

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