After one of the most embarrassing defeats of Arsene Wenger’s reign at Arsenal, Arseblog News has fingered through its book of Medieval torture methods (a must for every library) in a bid to sum up how bad last night really was.
Wojciech Szczesny: 6/10 – tooth extraction
Bacary Sagna: 5/10 – de-nailing
Per Mertesacker: 5/10 – foot roasting
Thomas Vermaelen: 4/10 – garroting
Kieran Gibbs: 5/10 – tarring and feathering
Santi Cazorla: 7/10 – blackmail
Jack Wilshere: 8/10 – tickle torture
Francis Coquelin: 6/10 – solitary confinement
Aaron Ramsey: 4/10 – eyes gouged out with a rusty spoon
Lukas Podolski: 4/10 – flaying
Gervinho: 3/10 – scaphism
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain: 5/10 – oxygen deprivation
Tomas Rosicky: 5/10 – waterboarding
Marouane Chamakh: 4/10 – rat torture
Arseblog News would like to highlight that the punishments listed above are representative of the pain each player made us feel during the course of last night’s abject defeat…not what we’d do to the players if confronted by them at London Colney this morning.
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