Friday, May 24, 2013
Handsome French bloke backs Handsome French bloke to do handsomely

Handsome French bloke backs Handsome French bloke to do handsomely

Ex-footballer-turned-full-time-good-looking bloke, Robert Pires *swoon *, believes that fellow handsome Gallic stallion, Olivier Giroud, will come good at the Emirates…err, in front of goal.

Galloping to the defence of Arsene Wenger’s summer signing, the silky-haired ‘Invincible’ stressed that our abdominally-fabulous hitman, who has scored nine goals in 30 appearances since arriving from Montpellier, is still in an adaptation period and will no doubt become more dangerous in the box once he’s acclimatised to life in the Premier League.

“The people need to give Olivier time,” said Pires as he sat in a London café nodding knowingly as beautiful women fainted all around him.

Sipping on a Courvoisier with the dulcet tones of Charles Aznavour playing in the background, he continued:

“I know he is a good player. It is very difficult to adapt from French football and everyone needs time, even Thierry [Henry] did in the first half of his first season at the club.

“I would tell supporters to relax, Olivier will score goals.”

As if that wasn’t enough, the 39-year-old (my how he matures like a fine wine) also spoke warmly about his mentor Arsene Wenger, insisting, “For me, I always believe in Wenger.”

With that Bobby threw a leather jacket over his shoulder, paid the bill with a wink and departed the café in a scene reminiscent of a Linx deodorant advert.

*Sigh* Arseblog News does love it when Bobby whispers in our ear and tells us to relax and for what it’s worth we too believe Olivier ‘I run like an Ostrich’ Giroud will start to score some goals soon too.

(No we’ve no idea why he’s kissing a Water Sheringham either)

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46 comments

  1. Little know fact. Robert Pires is the guy inside Gunnersaurus. Apparently, he is just too damn good looking not to be covered up for a certain percentage of the week. This way he gets to give back to Arsenal, and give us regular mortals a chance with the laydeez.

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  2. Uh oh, I can smell the neanderthals getting ready with their homophobic comments. This should be fun.

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  3. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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  4. Ex-footballer-turned-full-time-good-looking bloke, Robert Pires *swoon *, believes that fellow handsome Gallic stallion, Olivier Giroud, will come good at the Emirates…err, in front of goal.

    LOL! lifting everyone’s spirits lately blogs, let’s hope the lads lift them even higher tonight, COYG!!

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  6. ……..as much as i love Bobby, i want transfer news. Good, positive, deal is nearly done news. God damn.

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    • the deals been done
      we signed a ninja who can play anywhere in the front three.

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    • Be thankful for what you get. You don’t get a dazzlingly charming bloke as a legend everyday (just look at John Terry)

      It’s not like Arseblog’s postponing any available transfer news for hours just because Bob is talking.

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  7. “Olivier ‘I run like an Ostrich’ Giroud”
    Fuckin’ lmao!! I knew i’d seen that run somewhere before! Now I know where…. The Discovery Channel :p COYG tonight.

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  8. That picture is incredibly charming. I’m half-disappointed and half-glad I don’t swing that way.

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  9. I feel strangely better now and a little giggley. hee hee hee hee…

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  10. Walk-Off time… Zoolander style, Arteta vs. Giroud…. Bobby gets to officiate ;)

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  11. I like giroud. He really gives the opposition defense something else to contend with. I don’t expect unreasonable results from individuals such as him.

    However, this pattern by those in charge at the club perturbs me:
    1) talk up ambitions
    2) pursue said ambitions ill-prepared for their challenges (e.g. giroud needs competition up front, and we need depth)
    3) be exposed as horribly unprepared
    4) force fans to reduce expectations
    5) barely meet those expectations
    6) tell fans that they expected too much and that it was a very good accomplishment to reach the target they set for themselves (which they didn’t)

    This goes for ambitions such as: silverware, attractive style of play, “top top top” quality players, etc. That we all see so clearly through it suggests the club need to rethink a few things about what makes them a good “product”, since it’s being run as a business (which is something I respect, despite its current failings).

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  12. Reading this warms my cockles.

    What? It had to be said…

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  13. I vote for a Bobby Pires article after every disappointing result. It would sure go some way to cheering me up

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  14. Had to unlike arseblog on facebook cos of the sheer amount of anti-wenger idiots posting. Seems to be a but more positive here

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    • Facebook is an unfeasibly angry place.

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      • garyfootscrayaustralia

        As well as being total shite. Even my cat is having second thoughts about his profile on ShiteBook, and he’s the grumpiest animal in this or any other cosmos.

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    • Arsene's bottle of water

      What bothers me the most is the assassination of the English grammar that goes on there on Facebook.
      But running away from it because it’s negative is living inside a bubble. If you go to the stadium and fans start chanting “You don’t know what you’re doing” to Wenger, would you stop going?

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      • Obviously not. I wouldnt let them annoy me that much that Id stop going to matches. Arseblog on Facebook is something that I can live without. Its not that im running away from it and they make some good points, I just feel Wenger deserves some respect and that calling him a ”twat” is something I dont want to see. That bothers me the most. Maybe im easily annoyed :)

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      • it annoys me when wegner gets called a twat etc as well. He might be making bad decisions but he genuinely loves arsenal and completely redefined our great club he shouldnt have to listen to wankers calling him a peodofile and a twat

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  15. Give it time

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  16. Jesus we could badly do with a Bobby and Freddie on either side of the midfield scoring goals right now…

    A Dennis and Thierry up top wouldn’t go a miss either…

    Get the old band back together lads, c’mon….

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  17. Why’s he getting off with Teddy Sheringham?
    Lost all respect for him now…

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    • Much like God – the real one that used to walk among us and is currently gracing Ajax with his presence, not that pretender in the sky – Pires is on the list of people who can do whatever he likes.

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  18. Lets hope that not so good looking bloke sam jabba the hut allardice has a face like a slapped arse come ten o clock tonight. On a side note David Villa romours still going strong that would make me happy

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  19. i want to boff giroud and im not even gay

    Reading that has made my little lipstick pop out

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  20. that water sheringham is a cocky cunt innit, look at that cunt’s smug expression.

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  21. who is this handsome french bloke? Nasri? Silvestre?

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  22. I’ve never wanted to be a dolphin so much as I do now!

    [swoons]

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  23. Haha, even i felt like there was something different with the way giroud runs.

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  24. Lol “I run like an ostrich”….

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  25. Free Willy 4 starring Robert Pires

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