19 February 2013
Dear Dani Alves,
If we were going to write a letter to Barcelona’s Brazilian right-back, Dani Alves, it would probably resemble the above…most likely with a hastily scribbled phallus decorating the envelope.
Why would Arseblog News be reduced to such unseemly behaviour? Because our chums at the Nou Camp are once again frotting like Japanese businessmen on a packed train. You see…they like Jack Wilshere. He piques their interest, moistens their loins, has them humming Barry White and lighting candles. It’s disgusting.
Here’s what Alves has to say this week, seemingly taking his cue from the human centipede that comprises Pique-Puyol-Xavi.
“Wilshere is a great player who we have met playing against Arsenal and without doubt he can reach the height of the players we have here at Barcelona like Xavi and [Andres] Iniesta.
“He has a lot of quality and a great personality. If I was given the chance to choose, he is a player that I would sign for Barcelona.”
Well we say no. We’re not having it. That chance will not be granted. We insist you desist immediately, you’ve had your fix of Arsenal flesh and don’t you dare tell us you’ve already gone off Alex Song.
You’ve been warned Barcelona. We’re trying to be polite. We’ve not sworn once in this…but next time, if you continue to be so damn rude we’ll get angry. Very angry.
Jack stays. End of.14,519 views