Koscielny: I want my own song

Koscielny: I want my own song

Laurent Koscielny says he’s desperate to earn his own chant after jokingly admitting he has no idea why other teammates prove more popular on the terraces.

Chuckling that teammate Olivier Giroud’s ‘Hey Jude’ inspired ditty must be the result of his popular good looks above anything else, the understated Gallic centre-back outlined his aims to secure the love of the Emirates before he retires. 

“I don’t know!” he told the Arsenal official magazine when quizzed on why his name is rarely sung.

“Maybe I need to have Olivier’s nose or his hair cut! Or maybe they don’t like me. Before I retire, I am hoping to have my own song!”

Arseblog News suspects Koscielny’s problem may be that his name rhymes with erm…pretty much nothing.

On more serious matters, the Frenchman also turned his attention to Mesut Ozil insisting the German international is a key component to Arsenal’s more efficient attacking play this season.

Reflecting on the importance of adding quality to a stable squad (is that a swipe at Sp*rs we detect?), Koscielny outlined why Ozil justifies his ‘superstar’ tag.

“We kept nearly the same squad as last season. You can choose to buy lots of new players for £100 million plus or buy one!

“The boss decided he preferred quality to quantity. He bought Mesut Ozil and 10 minutes into his first game he gave an assist to Olivier Giroud at Sunderland. Maybe Mesut was not what people thought we were missing but he only needs one opportunity and he gives an assist.

“The difference is there and that’s why we’re more efficient in front of goal this season. He gave more freedom to other players, too. He is our superstar. Others feel less pressure than before his arrival and we have more confidence.”

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291 COMMENTS

  1. Haha love all the (not so subtle) subtle swipes our players take at Sp*rs! Anyway, Kos doesn’t need to win me over…love him and the BFG dearly already!

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      • Here is the Kos Mash up

        Catch a diving scouse and put him in your pocket
        never let him go
        Catch a skunking dutch and put it in your pocket
        Kick him in the Little boy

        oh Laurent your so fine your so fine you blow my mind
        hey Laurent

        you were working as a stopper in a ligue 2 team
        When arsene met you
        he picked you out, he shook you up
        And turned you around
        Turned you into someone new
        Now four years later on you’ve got the world at your feet
        Success has been so easy for you
        But don’t forget it’s wenger who put you where you are now
        And he can put you back down too

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        • The best song written on the comments has to be by luke fergus

          He puts the tackles in,
          He’s gonna take you out,
          In out, in out, play the ball about
          Strikers see Laurent Koscielny, then they turn around,
          That what we’re all about

          Oh Laurent Koscielny, Oh Laurent Koscielny! Oh Laurent Koscielny!
          Knees bend, arms stretch ra ra ra

          Thumb up 113 Thumb down 4

        • I like that a lot Nat, runs better though as ‘Strikers see Koscielny’ imo..gets you through the initial bit faster (always a plus for a chant).

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        • “They see our Koscielny, and they turn around” has the right number of syllables and fits the cadence of the original, plus “Our Koscielny” also sounds like Okey Cokey enough to be easy for people to handle.

          So there. I win. Gimme my exploding cigar prize immediately. I have a toothache.

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        • just to say it’s not my song but luke fergus i just wanted to get it near the top of the comments because it was too good to leave near the bottom. 97 likes shows this

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    • How about keeping it short, snappy, simple and relevant – Why don’t we just recycle Forest’s speedy defender Des Walker chant of the early 90s?

      e.g “You’ll ne-ver beat Koscielny”

      because, personally, I can’t remember seeing anyone beating Kos one on one. Also, I am convinced that that chant made Des Walker even faster in the opposing forwards psyche.

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    • A-HA – Take on me.

      Tackling away
      I don’t know what I’m to say
      I’ll save us anyway
      Get past me and im going to catch you
      clearing away
      I’ll be coming for your legs, OK?

      Take on me,
      Ko-sciel-ny
      Take me on,
      Ko-sciel-ny
      The ball’lll be goneeeee
      In a second or twoooo

      or something along those lines. I tried. hahaha. I just want this guy to have his own song, and rosicky to have his own banner. They deserve that shit.

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    • To the Tune of Tina turner:

      Kosc is simply the best, better than all the rest, better than anyone, anyone iv’e ever known!

      To the tune of Metallica, Memory Remains:

      Lalalala la la la, Laurent Koscielny, Lalalala la la la, Laureeent Koscielny, Lalalala la la la, Laurent Koscielny! Lalalala la la la, Laureeent Koscielny! And so on.

      That would work equally well to the hey Jude Giroud Song.

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    • Read one posted by a ‘Bingo’
      Thought it was great.

      To the tune of Haddaway – What is love.

      ‘What is love?
      Laurent Koscielny
      Koscielny,
      my love.’

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    • Those lucky enough to attend our matches need to get on it ASAP! This man deserves a chant big time!…perhaps in reference to the size of his pockets. Hell I don’t know, I’m no poet

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    • This is very late I know, but I thought we could borrow one off our good friends the Barmy Army

      (to the tune of “we are the army”)

      Laurent Koscielny
      Laurent Koscielny
      You won’t get past him,
      And keep the ball!
      He’s kept out Suarez, and Lewandowski
      You’ll never score a goal.

      Thumb up 9 Thumb down 1

  2. Granted you don’t hear it sung in the ground but “I want to dance with Koscielny” is absolutely brilliant and I catch myself singing it from time to time!

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  3. I’ve been saying all season we need a song for Kos. Was really obvious after Sunderland when he and Per were doing a lap in front of the North Bank and the BFG was being sung. Would be good to hear us try “there is only one Laurent Koscienly”

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  4. It doesn’t matter that his surname doesn’t rhyme with anything. Thierry Henry’s chant and Santi Cazorla’s just rhyme with themselves. Mertesacker’s doesn’t even mention his name. Aaron Ramsey’s doesn’t rhyme at all, nor did Van Persie’s or the new Podolski version etc…

    Giroud and Bergkamp needed rhymes. Not many others.

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    • It’s pretty easy to use ‘Lolo’ into a song with or without rhyme.

      Some of the above (and below) are better …but I would go with:

      Laurent Koooscielnyyyy
      You are the love of my life
      Laurent Koooscielnyyyy
      but you should stay with your wife
      Laurent Koooscielnyyyy
      Learn from Ollie Giroud

      Yeh, ok, the 4th & 6th lines aren’t serious but you can see how it would work…

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  5. We (North Bank Lower) did try to sing “I wanna dance with Koscielny” when he scored his header last weekend! Sadly though, seems like it hasn’t caught on with the rest of the stadium yet.

    On a related note, Kos and Flamini’s Unclassic Commentary video brought me much needed mid-week laughter. Everyone should have a look at that too!

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    • He got a couple of songs over in redaction last match. Just not loud enough I suppose. But Kosc, it’s more about whether people enjoy singing the song! We love you regardless.

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    • Na nana nana na na na NA
      Mathieu Fla-mi-nI
      FlaminI
      Mathieu Fla-mi-nIIIIII

      (baby give it up)

      All strikers and their world class
      dont count for my Konscielny
      Deep in his pockets he has them
      wont let go off that grip
      so wont you sing with me
      this song for LAURENT
      Laurent KoOOOOnscielnY ( tone on the Y pronounced as an E though)
      defender god

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  6. Couldn’t we just go with: Laureeeent koscielny! as used for the Dutch skunk back in the days? (before his prolific season that saw it change to the ‘score when he wants’ one)

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  7. It’s not about popularity, but more about what your name rhymes with or what begins to catch on. I’m sure I speak for most of us when I say that Koscielny is one of my favourite players. Let’s think of something and give him what he wants.

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  8. Actually, fuck it. Bergy’s didn’t rhyme. We just inserted his name in the Winter Wonderland song. And Giroud’s just rhymes with the song it’s taken from. Jack’s doesn’t rhyme…

    I’ll get my coat…

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  9. How about a bit of Alanis Morissette? Something like this maybe…

    He’s free but he’s focused, he’s green but he’s wise
    He’s hard but he’s friendly, baby

    And what it all boils down to
    Is that he’s really got it all figured out right now
    Koscielny’s got [insert opposition striker’s name here] in his pocket
    And the BFG’s giving him high fives

    We love you Bosscielny!

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  10. It’s dedinitely got to be
    “I wanna dance with Koscielny,
    I wanna win the league with Koscielny,
    With Koscielny who loves us”

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  11. Let’s work on a song for Kos. Come on, it shouldn’t be that hard to come up with one. Let’s get creative

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  12. Right this is my entry for Kos – Sung to Flash (Queen)

    //
    Kossss
    AhhhhAhhhhhh
    Saviour of the universe.
    Kossss
    AhhhhAhhhhhh
    You saved everyone of us

    Defend everyone of us
    Stand for everyone of us
    He saved with a mighty hand
    Every man every woman Every child –
    he’s a mighty Kosss //

    *Sips tea

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    • bob the legend , redemption song

      All strikers and their world class
      dont count for my Konscielny
      Deep in his pockets he has them
      wont let go off that grip
      so wont you sing with me
      this song for LAURENT
      Laurent KoOOOOnscielnY ( tone on the Y pronounced as an E though)
      defender god

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  13. I think his name fits well with the tune of ‘We are The Champions’ (the TV show rather than the Queen song).

    You sing Laurent Koscielny then clap.

    ?

    I’ll get my coat again…

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  14. Laurent Koscielny, he scores at a crucial juncture towards the end of the season when he wants…

    …or maybe not.

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  15. “I wanna dance with Koscienly! I wanna keep clean sheets with Koscienly! Yeah! I wanna dance with Koscienly; yes Koscienly we LOVE YOU!” There you go.

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  16. I am your fan, Sir Koscielny. What a bloody good defender. Composed on the field as well as in the head.
    Wonderful player to have.

    Started from the bottom, now you are here.
    Carry on!

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  17. To the tune of my way, sung slowly:

    “He signed from Lorient (loryon), he came to own, oh Koscielny,
    He fought for the top four, and then once more, oh Koscielny,
    And when he asked for song, we’ll give him more than French heart would have cared for,
    We’re proud to have Laurent… Koscieeeeeelny”

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  18. Sing to “Oh my darling Clementine”

    Koscielny Koscielny,
    stops the strikers going by
    with his left foot, with his right foot
    Never one to never try

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  19. Not one to sing but i love the away boyz cover ”get lucky” ”a song about koscielny”. You can find it on YouTube. Maybe someone can send it to him.

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  20. CHANT for Kos the boss: Crowded House’s Everywhere You Go…

    ‘Everywhere you go always take Koscielny with you, everywhere you go always take Koscielny!’

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  21. A bit ironic he wants his own song when he takes the songs right out of the lips of opposing fans via his stalemate, shut down defense!

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  22. This could be either totally shit or quite brilliant.
    To the tune of Hey Mickey:

    Oh Lau-rent Ko-sci-elny Lau-rent Ko-sci-elny
    Ko-sci-elny
    Ko-sci-elny

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  23. James Brown – The Boss

    Paid the Kos to be the boss
    Paid the Kos to be the boss
    We paid the Kos to be the boss

    Look at him you know what you see
    You see a bad mutha
    Look at him you know what you see
    You see a bad mutha

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  24. To “there’s a hole in my pocket Dear Lisa”

    There’s a skunk in my pocket
    Koscielny koscielny
    There’s a skunk in my pocket
    Koscielny
    A skunk

    That’s the one to sing against United. The rest of the time “a skunk” could simply be replaced with “some cunt”.

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  25. (Sung to BFG’s tune)

    He looks like Bart fucking Simpson,
    Bart fucking Simpson
    Bart, fucking Siiiimpson,
    He looks like Bart fucking Simpson.

    (Que Sera tune)
    Laurent Koscielny,
    Where ever you’ll be, he’ll be.
    The goal you will not see,
    Laurent Koscielny.

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  26. He puts the tackles in,
    He’s gonna take you out,
    In out, in out, play the ball about
    Strikers see Laurent Koscielny, then they turn around,
    That what we’re all about

    Oh Laurent Koscielny, Oh Laurent Koscielny! Oh Laurent Koscielny!
    Knees bend, arms stretch ra ra ra

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  27. They could have a TV show, “A song for Kos”, presented by an affable Irishman. Blogs, are you affable?

    Born Free rhymes with Koscielny, and it has a simple and well known tune.

    My version, with the original lyrics that have been replaced written in brackets;

    Koscielny (Born free)
    Laurent Koscielny (As free as the wind blows)
    Laurent Koscielny (As free as the grass grows)
    Koscielny, Laurent Koscielny (Born free, to follow your heart)

    I think my lyrics are particuarly imaginitive.

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  28. James Brown – The Boss

    Paid the Kos to be the boss
    Paid the Kos to be the boss
    We paid the Kos to be the boss

    KO-SCIEL-NY ! you know what you see
    You see a bad mutha
    KO-SCIEL-NY ! you know what you see
    You see a bad mutha

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  29. “Or maybe they don’t like me.”
    That’s not it, mate. I think every single Gooner likes him, whether it being for his massive striker-labeled pockets or not.

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  30. He’s already got his own song which we started singing at the Bayern game. It caught on and other people started chanting it at the Sunderland game on Saturday. Listen out for it

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  31. Completely agree with sam…
    The ‘unclassic commentary’ clip on Arsenal Player is 11 / 10!…

    Flamini getting a yellow card after 20 seconds of being on the pitch – hysterical.

    Would love a chant for Kos. And agree it’s purely because something fitting hasn’t been invented. Nothing to do with how much we love him!

    Sounds like a job for the North Bank.

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  32. “It’s dedinitely got to be
    I wanna dance with Koscielny,
    I wanna win the league with Koscielny,
    With Koscielny…”

    I agree that it’s gotta be this song but I also think it definitely requires a tempo clap.

    I wanna dance with Koscielny
    I wanna win the leeeague with Koscielny
    Heyyy I wanna dance with Koscielny
    We’ve got LAURENT KOSCIELNY

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  33. “I’m Laurent Kos-ciel-ny
    Only got 20 strikers in my pocket
    I – I – I’m hunting, looking for another
    I am fucking awesome”

    *mentally prepares for barrage of red thumbs

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  34. There is a song from Greese 2 called ‘do it for our country’ chorus mentions red, white and blue too. Someone with a better mind than mine could rework it for Kos.

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  35. oooh I want to dance with Koscielny!
    is a classic. but there are plenty of classic player songs (all we need is bacary sagna! ozil’s Flintstones song) that people are too unimaginative to sing. like if it has more than one line of lyrics, that’s it sorry mate, nanana geeeeerooooooo!arsenal! arsenal! arsenal! come on gooners. imaginate.

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  36. Laurent Koscielny is such a classy player.
    How about this for a Koscielny song,
    To the tune of Because the Night by Patti Smith
    KOSCIELNY HE IS A GUNNER,
    KOSCIELNY IS RED AND WHITE,
    KOSCIELNY WILL NEVER GIVE UP,
    KOSCIELNY SCORES GOALS THATBWIN THE FOURTH PLACE CUP,

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  37. Whenever someone says above “to the tune of”….I cringe.
    Just sing his name, it’s simple but it’s all the guy wants

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  38. After clean sheet before opponent get out of pitch. ‘You can’t score be Koss he’s boss” ‘You can’t score be Koss he’s boss”

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  39. We also need a good Wojciech Szczesny song as well – but I do think we all need to sing same songs at same time it’s annoying we need a conductor more than anything!!

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  40. Slade have a great song called “Coz I love u”

    Just change Coz with Kos.

    I won’t laugh at you when you boo-hoo-hoo, Kos I love you
    I can’t turn my back in things you lack, Kos I love you.
    I just like the things you do.
    Don’t you change the things you do…
    La-la, la la la

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  41. Koscielny rhymes (kinda) with Wounded Knee.

    Something with “Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee”? Although that would make a pretty shitty chant admittedly.

    Hmmm…

    Help?

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    • Unless he has strong Lakota heritage, I think that might be lost on him, and if he did, it would be pretty poor taste. However, that was imaginative rhyming. : )

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  42. I’ve got a French 80’s song that I remember being quite popular in the UK when it came out. It has a catchy chorus that we could use to change the lyrics to something like this (I’ve put the original words in parenthesis as guide, but they should not be sung):

    Laurent Koscielny (Joe Le Taxi)
    Mon ami (c’est ca vie)
    He plays in defence (Le rhum au mambo)
    And he’s the best (Embouteillage)

    Here’s the song — the chorus starts at 1-and-a-half minutes in:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkxSxXLUyME

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  43. “There’s only one Lolo koscielny

    One Lolo koscielny.

    He says hes french,

    And we think hes dench,

    Walking in a lolo wonderland.”

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  44. All you need’s Laurent
    Laurent Koscielny
    All you need’s Laurent
    Laurent Koscielny
    All you need’s Laurent, Laurent, Laurent
    Laurent Koscielny, Laurent Koscielny, Laurent Koscielny…

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  45. i’m gonna block some shots
    only got twenty strikers in my pocket
    im hunting…looking for a corner
    with the big fucking german

    [to the tune of thrift shop]

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  46. How much is that Suarez in his pocket?
    The one who’s not going to score
    He’ll try take a shot but you’ll block it
    Koscielny just bolted the door!

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  47. Hmmm….name doesn’t ryhme with anything so how about this…

    To the tune of ‘Lord of the Dance’ (the hymn we all sang at school)

    Laurent, Laurent,
    Wherever you may be,
    I am the lord of the defence said he,
    And I boss you all, whoever you may be,
    There’s a space in my pocket always free.

    Will never catch on:(

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  48. You are my sunshine !

    You are my Laurent
    Luarent Koscielny
    You msake us happy every time you play
    You’ll never Kos
    How much we love you
    So pleae don’t take our Laurent away.

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  49. This is either the best or worst thing I’ve ever written. I haven’t decided yet

    To the tune of Foo Fighters – Everlong

    Hello, we waited here for you, oh Laurent
    Tonight, you’ll stop a goal or two
    Cos Kos plays in red
    And he’ll stop you dead, we sing

    And I wonder
    When I sing along with you
    Have you ever seen such a good defender?
    Will there be a centre back this great again?
    The only thing we’ll ever ask of you
    You’ve got to promise not to stop until we’ve won

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  50. Well he’s not the World’s most physical guy
    But he’s quick and he’s smart, he’ll make your striker cry.
    Oh my Lolo, El-Oh-El-Oh, Lolo. Lo-lo-lo-lo Lolo.

    Lola The Kinks

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  51. @Glasgowgooner

    That’s great mate.
    I think it would work even better with “each time you play” but gets my vote as the best either way.
    Kos definately deserves a song and yours definately deserves to be sung.
    Hope it catches on.

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  52. Loads of good ideas, my suggestions are mainly (maybe more manly?) edits not original, but you might like them.

    He is Koscielny,
    Laurent Koscielny,
    He makes us happy, most Saturdays
    You’ll never know. Kos,
    How much we love ya,
    So please don’t take our Laurent, away.

    As for the Whitney Houston number, I don’t think people are happy singing dance with…. But the tune is great, how about?

    No one gets past our Koscielny
    There’s no one too fast for Koscielny
    Yeah our last man is Koscielny,
    He is, Laurent Koscielny!

    Having said that, ‘He wants his own song’ is much easier to learn!

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  53. The every breath you take could work with

    Every touch you take
    And every pass you make,
    Every touch you take every pass you make,
    Kos is watching you!

    Kos is watchin you
    Yeah Kos is watchin you
    Every touch you take every pass you make,
    Kos is watching you!

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  54. Taking tilldeath and Glasgow’s suggestions how about?

    He is Koscielny,
    Laurent Koscielny,
    He makes us happy, each time he plays!
    You’ll never know, Kos,
    How much we love ya,
    So please don’t take our Laurent, away.

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  55. To the tune of morrisseys you’re the one for me fatty –
    you’re the one for me
    koschielny
    you’re the one i really, really love,
    the way, you play,
    promise you’ll maim, van, perse,
    ey, ahey, a hey, a hey, hey

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  56. For those of you who mentioned our lovely number one needing a song, I heard a great one away to Fulham a few years back…

    Tune of Uncle Kracker – Follow Me (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yO9HPRU9AJo)

    “Follow me, everything is alright…
    We’ve found a keeper that your, gonna like…
    And if you, want to leave, I can guarentee…
    You won’t find nobody, like Szczesny!”

    As for Kos… (I won’t repeat the amazing song suggestions above from others, originalish ones only! Last one is a gem IMO)

    *The Archies – Sugar Sugar* Koshaa… du du dudu dudu… Laurennnnt Koscielny… du du dudu dudu… you are a Gooner…. and we’re fuckin’ loving you!

    *Carly Simon – Your So Vain* Kosssscielllnyyyyyy…. You probably think this song is about you… Koscieellnnyyyy….I bet you think this song is about you, don’t you, don’t you! *loop this*

    *Cee Lo Green – Fuck You* You try to run through our team, yes our whole defence, but there is Koscielnyyyyyy….

    You bring on Suarez, Van Persie, but Kosh is the best, we’ve got.. Koscielny and the… BFG.

    Other teams are richer, sugar daddy’s bitch yeah… now aint that some shit? *Aint that some shit*

    But we know Kosh is a red, with Bart Simpson’s head… we’ve got Kos..cielnnnyyyyyyyyyy!…

    Bounce! (Then, Red Army Style) Kosciellllnyyyyy…. Kosciellny… Koscielnyyyy.. Koscielnyyyyyyy….

    *Will never catch on, but still… Yes… I have too much time on my hands…

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  57. How about a using the ditty ‘Oh Mandy’ by Bary Manilow:

    KOS-CIEL-NY, you came and you stopped strikers plaaaying, you’re a French Bart Simpson
    KOS-CIEL-NY!

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  58. A song for Lolo (and Per) – to the tune if Copacabana

    His name was Lolo, He’s better than Kolo,
    Winning duels in the air, he loved to play alongside Per,
    He would slide tackle and catch them offside,
    And as he turned into a star
    Arsène smiled from afar
    Across the crowded floor, they played as 6 and 4
    They were young and they had each other
    Who could ask for more?

    Clean sheets and passion were always in fashion
    At the Emirates…. they fell in love

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  59. I need some help with this one but… TNT by AC/DC works for both ‘Kos-ciel-ny’ and BFG…

    Some of the original lyrics work too…

    T.N.T. (Kos-ciel-ny)
    I’m Dynamite (He’s dynamite)
    T.N.T. ((and)BFG)
    And I’ll win the fight (They’ll / He’ll win the fight)

    T.N.T.
    I’m a power-load
    T.N.T.
    Just watch me Explode ??

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  60. what about adapting Blondie’s Denis Denis?

    Laurent Laurent oh with your eyes so blue
    Laurent Laurent w’ve got a crush on you
    Laurent Laurent we’re so love with you

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  61. Or going with the Frenchmen / Beatles theme why not just:

    Koscielny Yeah yeah yeah!
    Koscielny yeah yeah yeah!
    Koscielny yeah yeah yeah yeah!

    (She loves you – The Beatles)

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  62. It needs to be happy,catchy,and snappy.

    So,in the style of ‘robin hood,robin hood,riding through the glen':

    Laurent,Laurent,Laurent Koscielny,
    Pockets so deep you’ll lose your keys,
    Laurent Koscielny!

    Laurent,Laurent,Laurent Koscielny,
    We love the Kosc he is the Boss,
    Laurent Koscielny!

    And repeat ad infinitum until Suarez’s moody face turns to actual tears.

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  63. To the tune of Whitney Houston ‘dance with somebody’

    Oooooooh I wanna dance with koscielny
    I wanna feel the heat with koscielny
    Aaaay I wanna dance with koscielny
    Koscielny is a gooner

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  64. This should have ended the discussion……

    He wants his own song
    he wants his own song
    Laurent Koscielny
    he wants his own song

    Done

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  65. He’s the best, Magnificent
    Wherever there’s danger he’ll be there!
    Koscielny, power house;
    He’ the fastest, he’s the quickest , he’s the BEST!

    (From Danger Mouse theme)

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  66. We did a better job of making sure everyone had their own song in the old days at Highbury. Granted, these could be pretty basic (“Lee Dix-on, Lee Dix-on, Lee Dix-on…”) but at least it was something to do when the players came out. These days, the stadium announcer rarely shuts up for long enough for the crowd to get a word in edgeways, unless he’s announcing each player’s first name and expecting us just to shout out the surname. This routine is utterly lame and has irked me for a long time. Thanks for the opportunity to get it off my chest.

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  67. For me after the carling cup error he made, and the talk of leaving beginning of the season he still has a bit of making up to do saying that hes such a underated defender and i am amazing he hasnt had a chant yet.

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  68. Agree the boss needs a song.

    To the tune of cheap tricks ‘if you want my love’

    If you want clean sheets koscielny
    If you need clean sheets koscielny
    You might want him
    But we’ve got him
    He won’t give the ball away

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  69. There are many funtastic idea already…. But I will give it a shot.

    All strikers get gloomy
    He’s not easy to bully
    And he keeps them so many
    He’ s Laurent Koscielny

    To the tune of Tiny Toon…

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  70. Far to late for people to get down this far but…. Elton john – your song

    Laurent can tell everybody this is his song
    It may be quite simple but now that it’s done
    I hope he don’t mind
    I hope he don’t mind
    that we put down in words
    How tight the back line is Kos in the world

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  71. Koscielny’s song should be a take on “The Boss” by James Brown.

    “Paid the Kos cos he’s the boss”
    “Paid the Kos cos he’s the boss”
    “Look and see!”
    “You know what you see?”
    “You see a bad mutha!”

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  72. (to the chorus of “Rock the Casbah” by The Clash)
    He plays with the Big German/
    Lau-rent Kos-ciel-ny, Lau-rent Kos-ciel-ny/
    He’s French but we still like him/
    Rock the Kos-bah, Rock the Kos-bah

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  73. To the music of “ROCK THE CASBAH” by the Clash

    CHORUS:
    We really, really like him
    Laurent Koscielny
    Laurent Koscielny
    We really, really like him
    Laurent Koscielny
    Lo the Kos Boss

    VERSE:
    Now Arsene told his gooner boys
    The goals against just have to stop
    So Laurent came the Highbury way
    And helped put Arsenal back on top
    Then Kosh he joins the next attack
    He went a-bruisin’ down the lane
    The scum was left a’ standing
    They never were to score again

    CHORUS:
    We really, really like him
    Laurent Koscielny
    Laurent Koscielny
    We really, really like him
    Laurent Koscielny
    Lo the Kos Boss

    (Based on an original idea from by Stan M from the OC Gooners)

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  74. inspired by what was playing on my iPod at the time lol CHEERS!

    to the tune of; The Specials- A message to you, Rudy

    Laurent, a message to you
    Laurent, a message to you
    Laurent, a message to you
    Laurent, a message to you!

    LA Gooner,

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  75. I love the ‘I wanna dance with Koscielny’ idea…

    but I also heard a suggestion that we should use ‘Call on Me’ by Eric Prydz. The chorus goes perfectly with his name. Kosh-el-neeeeee, Kosh-el-ne, Kosh-el-neeeee etc etc

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  76. Whenever I read his name I get Eleanor Rigby in my head so,

    Laurent Koscielny, cuts out a pass in the box like you’ve never seen.
    Living the dream.
    Waits at the far post, wearing the face that he keeps for when he knows he’ll score.
    He’ll fuckin score.

    All the happy gooners,
    Where do they all come from?
    All the happy gooners,
    We know where they belong.

    Robin van Persie, died up the M6 and was buried along with his name.
    Nobody came.
    Laurent Koscielny, wiping the dirt from his hands as he pockets the grave.
    The boy wasn’t saved.

    Ah, look at all the happy gooners.
    Ah, look at all the happy gooners.

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  77. I dunno what kind of song he should have but apparently any shortening of his name to Kosc is best avoided.

    I’ve been informed it is akin to a woman’s private part in the Arab world.

    No naughty stuff then like “Come try our Kosc if you dare” or Our “Kosc is not the biggest but is the best”

    K.o.s.c.i.e.l.n.y.

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  78. His pockets are immense, he’s like a wall in defense. And when the strikers come on through, he sticks to them like glue. They try to take him on, but he’s allready won. His skills are insane, Laurent Koscielny is his name!

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  79. To The Beatles twist and shout

    “His name is Koscielny, (name is Koscielny)
    Let’s scream and shout (scream and shout)
    Cmon, cmon, Koscielny, (come on Koscielny)
    He’s our Koscielny (Our Koscielny)
    He’s arsenals number six!”

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  80. Kozzer is simply awesome. Did anyone notice that he said “before I retire”?….. I guess he means before he retires at Arsenal. I’m surprised that no one pointed that out

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  81. “I said Koscielny, you gonna be the one that saves me, and after all, he always gets the ball.”… to the theme of Wonderwall yo’.

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  82. Brilliant suggestions on here!
    I’m thinking of the following, to the tune of Eddy Grant’s “I don’t wanna dance”:

    You don’t wanna mess,
    Mess with Koscienly no nooo!
    You’ll never do something to pass him no,
    I know that feeling is bad, that feeling is baaad!!

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  83. Blur – Song 2:
    Whoohoo!
    When I rake in a tackle
    Whoohoo!
    And I’m French and I’m fearless
    Whoohoo!
    Well, I’m Laurent Koscielny
    All of the time and I’m always sure
    Why I’ll beat you
    Pleased to meet you

    Naa nana nananaaa nana na naa
    Yeah yeah
    Naa nana nananaaa nana na naa
    Yeah yeah
    Naa nana nananaaa nana na naa
    Ohhhhh yeah

    Chumbawumba – Tubthumping:
    Ohhh Ko-sciel-nyyy Ko-sciel-nyyy Ko-sciel-nyyyyyyyy
    You’ll get knocked down
    And you’ll never get up again
    Coz he’s always gonna keep you down
    Ohhh Ko-sciel-nyyy Ko-sciel-nyyy Ko-sciel-nyyyyyyyyyyy

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  84. I’m a bit late to this party, but to the tune of
    “War, uh
    Good god y’all”

    “Lau-rent
    Koscielny
    What is he good for?
    Bloody good defending”

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  85. derrr duh derrr duh derr da da der der,
    derrr duh derrr duh Daaaaaaahhhhh!

    Law – Urn – Cosh – Hell – Knee,
    and if its quite all right, Lauren Koscielny
    will give the scum a fright, Lauren Koscielny
    trust in him when he plays…

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  86. Laurentl Koscielny
    this is your song
    It may be quite simple but now that it’s done
    I hope you don’t mind
    I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words
    How wonderful life is while you’re in the world

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  87. Too late I realise, and props to the people who have already come up with some class suggestions!

    My effort – to the tune of “Knowing me and knowing you…ah-huuuuu” by Abba

    Kos-ciel-neeee is bossing you
    AH-HUUUUUUUuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUU
    There is nothing you can do
    HE’S BOSSING YOU
    Laurent Ko-sciel-neee
    yeah he’s bossing you.

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  88. What about rihannas song “what now”

    “Whattttt …. Noooooowww? Strikers cant figure him outtttt!!!! , whatttt … Noooww?!! Strikers fear when koscielnys arounndd … Whatttt naaaooooooowwwww!!!!?”

    Sing it out exactly how rihanna sings it and tell me its not the best song for especially since rihanna shouts so loud for the chorus i can just imagine the fans shouting in unison “whatttt noooowww???!! Kossserss dunnn figured you ouuttt!” For lil remixes on a striker u can see hes doing his best to tame
    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=b-3BI9AspYc#

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  89. Okay so ive thought about the song properly now hes my final draft shall i say

    Where ever he is, it feels like hes laughing at me
    Through the barrel of an ar-se-nal cannon!
    Where ever he is, hes just laughing at you
    And Strikers just wanna scream!!

    What now, Koscielnys got me all figured out
    What now??!, I guess
    Ull all just have to wait it out, wait it out
    What nowwwwww!!!?

    Fellow gunners tell me this isnt priceless for the best centre back in the league be real

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  90. To the tune of “We will rock you”

    Hes got shit loads of pace, You’ll look a disgrace, when Kos nicks the ball from infront of your face!

    He will, He will BLOCK YOU!!

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  91. Volare (Dean Martin)
    “Koscielny! Whooooaaaaoooh! Koscielny! Whooooaaaaoooh! It’s 2-0 to Arsenal FC! Thanks to those pockets of Koscielny!”

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  92. Since Olivier’s got the Beatles, how about the Rolling Stones for Laurent?

    ‘Laurent Koscielny’ fits ‘Ruby Tuesday’ nicely.

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  93. may have already been suggested, but I couldn’t see it. why not just use the same chant as for Jack, Tom and others.

    super, super kos
    super, super kos
    super super kos, super kos-ee-elny

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  94. The tune of “Lola” by two top, top Gooners, Ray and Dave Davies:

    We took him from a club named L’Orient
    Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like “Larry” Cola
    L-O-L-O cola
    He’ll run up at you and he’ll tackle you fast
    Put you in his pocket knocking you on your arse
    I say Lo-Lo
    L-O-L-O Lolo
    Lo, lo, lo, lo, lolo…etc.

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  95. Oh you’re in his pocket
    Oh you’re in his pocket
    Whoever you are
    You won’t get too far
    Kozza’s gonna put you in his pocket

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  96. Keeping with the Beatles theme what about something simple like ‘all we need is love’

    All we need is kos
    All we need is Kos
    All we need is Kos, Kos
    Kos is all we need

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  97. OOOOH! I wanna dance with Koscielny…
    I wanna feel the heat with Koscielny…
    Yeah I wanna dance with Koscielny…
    With Koscielny he loves me!

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  98. “Kos Save the Team”

    From “God Save the Queen”
    Kos save our gracious Team,
    Live long our noble Team,
    Kos save the Team!
    Send her victorious,
    Happy and glorious,
    Long to win for us,
    Kos save the Team.

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  99. You may run like a rocket
    But you’ll end up in his pocket
    It’s not funny when you’re up against French rock
    Koscielny! Koscielny! Koscielny!

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  100. Ohh I wanna dance with Koscielny,
    I wanna feel the heat with Koscielny,
    Ohh I wanna dance with Koscielny,
    With Koscielny who loves me.

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  101. He stands steadily,
    Fearing nobody,
    The one and only KOSCIELNY!

    The strikers they dread,
    From blue white and red,
    KOSCIELNY! KOSCIELNY! KOSCIELNY!

    No player as tough,
    Nor handsome enough,
    KOSCIELNY! KOSCIELNY! KOSCIELNY!

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  102. ‘Cause I’m Koscielny, yes I’m the real Scielny
    All you other Koscielny’s are just imitating
    So won’t the real Koscielny please stand up,
    Please stand up, please stand up?
    -at least it’s different,don’t judge.

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  103. 2 verses. He wants his own song, Laurent Koscielny, he wants his own song.
    Then: he’s got his own song, Laurent Koscielny, he’s got his own song.
    Set to accordion music, bien sur.

    Unless someone can come up with a song set to the tune of la Vie en Rose. Piaf + accordion’s most famous French song.

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