Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Lewandowski confirms Szcz tapping-up

Lewandowski confirms Szcz tapping-up

Soon to be Bayern Munich striker Robert Lewandowski has confirmed that Wojciech Szczesny tried to get him to join Arsenal rather than the German behemoths.

The Gunners keeper and the Dortmund man are international room-mates, and as well as trying to convince him while awake, Szczesny would wait till Lewandowski was sleeping to whisper ‘Join Arsenal. You want to join Arsenal’, in his ear.

Speaking to the Polish press, he said, “I can confirm that Wojciech Szczesny tried to convince me to join Arsenal.

“We had several talks about this. It was him who did most of the talking, how the club looks inside, what Arsene Wenger thinks of me.

“When we trained before the Champions League games at Colney, there were important people from Arsenal at our sessions as well.”

Perhaps it was a last-gasp attempt from the manager, who said last month, “Yes we looked into Lewandowski but honestly he signed for Bayern one and a half years ago, everyone knows that.”

Rumours that Lukas Podolski was told to give Mesut Ozil an international duty wedgie until he signed for us cannot be confirmed at this point, while Szczesny needs to work on his persuasion skill, which WhoScored have as one of his big weaknesses.

szcz_whoscored

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48 comments

  1. UEFA set a president when they did fuck all to stop Barcelona players tapping up Cesc..

    but knowing how Uefa hate any one who’s name rhymes with Jenga and lusts over teams like Bayern like a dog in heat, we’ll likely get into trouble of this

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  2. Meh.
    We have \Lord Bendtner/

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  3. Indonesian Gooner

    Agent SZCZ sucks then. We shouldve got Fabianski to do it.

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  4. President? Is that a pun?

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  5. International room mates??
    How dare you..

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  6. Szczesny’s weakness:
    Whispering quietly to brainwash victim while victim is sleeping. (Repeatly: ‘you want to join Arsenal’)

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    • Aldous Huxley wrote about that in ‘Brave New World’. Although sleep hypnosis for children (he coined the term ‘hypnopaedia’) has been discredited, clearly Wojciech disagrees with this conclusion. It will be most interesting to see if he is successful in the future. Maybe that’s what the German lot did with Draxler; the rumours are he’s quite sold on the club.

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    • 2013-2014 = 2003-2004

      Better yet (while victim is sleeping), tattoo the words “Gunner for Life” on victim’s arse.

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  7. I can confirm that mesut only needed one wedgie as he already had received a one from per before
    #aha #no.9 #lukas #podolski #poldi #adidas #aha

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  8. You’ve just gotta love our guys though.

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  9. Haha, weaknesses: powers of persuasion.

    Good effort Szcz

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  10. Jack's Right Foot

    Lewandowski with Cazorla, Ozil and Walcott behind him. Phwooaarr… never mind.

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  11. Although Lewandowski has behaved in a rather unpleasant way to Dortmund, it is gratifying to see that we have players who love the club enough that they try and convince their chums to come here. To give Wenger credit, one of his hopes in his youth project was that young players recruited in their teens would grow up at the club and see it and love it as their home. Although he was let down by quite a few either being disloyal cunts or not living up to expectations and being pretty sort of useless, it’s nice to see his efforts have borne fruit in chaps like Sir Szczesny.

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  12. The only Olivier is Giroud

    Wasn’t either Sczcesny or Lewandowski injured “in his sleep” while on international dutya while back? I call bullshit. Sczezzers probably told Lewandowski “if you don’t sign for us, I’ll punch you in the face”, and Lewandowski, with his huge ego, said something along the lines of “Do your fucking worst, son!”. The injury then occured in the resulting ruccus.

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    • Parisian Weetabix

      I think that was Koscielny who slept in a funny position and got injured. Rumour has it he forgot to change into his pj’s, and his trouser pocket was so full of strikers that when he rolled on top of them they cut off the blood supply to his leg.

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  13. Wojciech Szczesny: Don’t worry Arsene, I can be very persuasive. *loads and holsters gun*

    - later -

    WS: C’monn, leave town!
    Robert Lewandowski: No.
    WS: I’ll be your friend?
    RL: No.
    WS: Oh, you’re mean!

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  14. Who needs Lewy? We’ve got lord Bendtner. Aha

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  15. I can see the first signs of Arseblog aging .. in his writing .. dare I say he is at his peak but on the wane? A bit like Arteta or Sagna. Brilliant career blogs. Do a Sampras when you go :)

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  16. @mark — that was dumb. that is all.

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    • Would have been better if I had remembered to change “leave town” to “join Arsenal”. Simpsons quote cut and paste failure on my part.

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  17. One of his strengths should read:

    Top top top top Gunner

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  18. We don’t need another traitor cunt who betrays the club and join their rivals without any passion to the club. I treat them as dead wood playing football.

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  19. Flamini should have tapped up Pato IMO.

    The state of affairs at Corinthians at the moment, he would have jumped ship for nothing.

    He’s been unfocused and struggling for form but there is an excellent player in Pato somewhere which someone like Wenger could unlock much as he did with Per recently.

    The positive attributes are there and (as they say with class) do not go away so easily. he’s quick, technically gifted, tricky and has ability to work the gaps.

    Maybe not the most robust player but we will only have needed him for the final 15 minutes in a sort of reverse Podolski on the RW or as an alternate to Giroud when teams start to tire and afford gaps.

    He would have also been particularly useful on the counter against Bayern where we are likely to play both legs predominantly on the back foot. This is the exact sort of option we could have done with in being able to beat a man or two with pace and trickery on the break thereby giving us an outlet to relief pressure or indeed prevent a team from committing too far forward.

    +crucially, he has plenty of Cl experience for a 24 yr old and is not cup tied.

    Moot now but I’d be amiss (and not myself) not to say that a loan with an option to buy at end of loan would have been a very wicked deal for us indeed. Alas I would have even waived my fees in Arsenal’s interest.:)

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    • In Soviet Russia, WENGA sacks YOU

      @santori “Moot now but I’d be amiss (and not myself) not to say that a loan with an option to buy at end of loan would have been a very wicked deal for us indeed”

      Then why didn’t you say so before?!

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    • For goodness sake, Pato? I understand that is also a very good player in TGSTEL somewhere….

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  20. Come summer, there will be several other possibilities.

    Falcao may be available but he is 29.

    Manzukic (27) will have slightly more longevity and may attract less attention from oil money clubs

    Benzema could also leave if Madrid find a replacement. An underachiever (despite still a prolific scoring record), he is approaching his peak years at 26 and it could be a perfect time to bring him in under Wenger to polish him for his best years ahead.

    Possibly Suarez may still want to leave even if the Mugmashers grab 4th.

    Costa may be too hot if he continues current streak and will likely land in an oil rich club but that may also open possibilities for others to leave. Domestically, I can’t see any of the strikers (bar Rooney who is not Arsenal) being a good fit for the type of player we want.

    We can draw some indicative from the summer pursuit of Higuain and Suarez that the desire is for a player with a bit of mobility, pace 9preferable) and trickery to work the gaps.

    If Napoli fall off CL contention, there could also still be an option to go back in for Higuain.

    Then there is the World Cup and who knows which player may rise to occasion.

    All options open and for that very reason, Wenger was rightly reluctant to commit to short term mediocrity up top. Considering the difficulties releasing Park, Chamakh and Bendtner, just any addition would have saddled us with opportunity cost down the line.

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  21. perhaps nudged by old pepe guardiola to talk about being tapped up by WS. Arsenal Bayern coming up, attempt to stir some shit ?

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  22. Winding up sp*rs fans by playing piano isn’t of his strengths list??

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  23. Well played, Chesney. But me think he needs a red&white jersey to put on Lewan’s shoulder like some cunts from Catalan did to Francesc Fabregas.

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