Rosicky a doubt for Chelsea trip


Arsene Wenger has revealed the latest team news ahead of tomorrow’s game against Chelsea.

There’s a doubt over Tomas Rosicky who picked up an ankle knock in the game against Sp*rs on Sunday (he probably almost dislocated spanking that howitzer past their sweeper-keeper), and the Czech will have a fitness test this morning.

Everyone else who was available for the trip to White Hart Lane ‘should be available’, according to the boss.

Arsenal travel to Stamford Bridge for Wenger’s 1000th competitive game in charge of the club. A win, which would break Mourinho’s record of never having lost a home Premier League game as manager of the scummy blue scummers, would be a fitting way to mark that occasion.


  1. It’ll be weird. Wenger has never beaten Mourinho, and yet he won’t technically be there.
    1-2, Carzola right footed winner.

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    • If we’re given 5 minutes of extra time in each half, then that works out to be 10 goals per minute, something rather doable on a special occasion against the so-called ‘special one’. MAKE.IT.HAPPEN.

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      • Hmmm… by my quick calculations:

        – 1 goal per minute
        – 5 minutes of extra time in each half = 10 total extra minutes
        – Gunners to score 1000 goals in total of 110 minutes of game time

        Therefore total goals scored in added-time:
        – 10 goals * 1 minute = 10 goals/minute
        – 10 goals * 10 minutes = 100 goals

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        • First of all, if each half has five minutes added (not extra) time, then the total time for the match is 100 minutes, not 110. Secondly, if your assumption is “one goal per minute”, then we’re scoring 100 goals, not 1,000. Thirdly, both your equations under “Therefore” don’t work – you’ve got an imbalance of units in each one. In the first equation, goals times minutes doesn’t equal goals divided by minutes. In the second equation, you’ve got an imbalance of units – you’re multiplying goals by minutes and coming up with goals, which only works if minutes has a constant value of 1.

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      • Which means in the total 100 minutes played we score 100 goals in extra time, we’re scoring 900 goals in the 90 minutes.

        breakdown of goals will be:
        100 Rosicky on crutches (50 from each crutch)
        150 ox to make up for what he missed against Sp*rs
        300 podolski from long range, smiling the whole time
        200 header goals from BFG
        200 cazorla (100 each foot)
        and 50 from Zelalem coming off the bench in the extra time of second half

        ends with Mourinho getting sent to the stands after kicking water bottles everywhere, mistakenly pokes himself in the eye with his own finger, and while blinded walking to his seat trips and falls on Terry who was walking off the pitch substituted after being in Kos’ pocket all day, tears streaming down his face because Bridge’s ex-Mrs won’t sleep with him anymore.

        Cue Arsene Wenger’s puzzled face trying to zip up his sleeping bag

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    • I was going to thumb you up, but then saw the thumbs at 49. A magic number not to be touched.

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  2. ‘Specialist in failure’ – I hope this phrase is ringing in the Gunners ears before they get on the pitch and they in turn give Chelsea a good fucking beating.

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    • Please Arsene, just pin this phrase on the dressing room wall. No team talk required. If this doesn’t motivate us to win, nothing will.

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  3. Omg it can’t get any worse than this. Rosicky we need you badly to break mourinho’s clowny nose at stamford bridge. We will all be praying for you to pass the fitness test.
    PS: Wishing good luck to Flamini for breaking Terry’s knees

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    • can we call him kallstorm please… i start getting nightmares of kardashian on the pitch every time someone mentions kim and leaves it just like that..

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  4. Oh god noooo. Need Rosa too much for this game, otherwise we simply won’t be able to dominate the game.

    Please, ankle gods! Be kind and let him pass the test!

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  5. I just want to point out that Arsene REJECTED a pay rise to stay on the same money he is on…not that 7.5 million is nothing but you know…CLASS

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  6. For Heavens sake , this narrows down our options !
    A midfield of Flamini with Arteta slightly ahead of him. The Ox on the right , Cazorla central and Podolski left it is then if Rocking Tommy doesn’t pass the test. Kallstrom will more than likely be on the bench with Gnabry and both will make a late appearance I would have thought.


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  7. Im actually confident of a victory over Chelsea.

    Its Arsene’s 1000th game, Maureen is suspended and he’s unbeaten home record has to end at some point, and we all know Arsenal have a knack for breaking records(good & bad)eg unbeaten season, 1st team to be 4 nil up and not win etc

    The media are slowly turning against Maureen, we are underdogs, and no one thinks we can win against the big boys.
    Im putting £10 on an Arsenal win, with the Ox to score.

    Its been written and remember where you read it 1st 🙂

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    • Maureen isn’t suspended yet. Even though he knows he’s as guilty as fuck he has appealed. Why? Because he knows this game is the Big One. If we win this then his record is gone, and maybe his chance to win the League goes with it. It would punch a huge fucking hole in his team’s confidence and that could even affect his their run in the Champions League.

      His pointless appeal, which he will lose, proves to me that the scabby cunt is afraid of us.

      We can fuck Chelsea’s entire season up with a win this weekend. That would be a fine way to celebrate Wenger’s 1000th game at the helm.

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    • Even if he didn’t deny the charge (he’s not “appealing” anything because no decision has been made yet), he still had until Monday to respond to it. So he would never have been suspended for this match anyway.

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  8. Camaaan can’t you just fucking leave the guy alone injury god? He has already given you years! Now you want to take away him celebrating a winning goal over maureens in arsenes 1000th game? Thats low. Real low.

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  9. Rosicky is exactly the kind of player we needed to counter the chavs… Now i am not going to get my hopes up too high. Ok i forget to mention, Mourinho is a detestable chav cunt and i dont give a rat’s ass about his unblemished record at the bridge… COYG give all you got!

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  10. Come on Tommy, we need you to blast a couple of more rockets that would decapitate John Terry, and sever Maureen’s vocal cord.

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  11. I dont think mourinho is suspended? He’s been charged and has until after the weekend to respond? I may be wrong….

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  12. Willian & Ramires are suspended giving Arsenal a slight edge over Chelski in the midfield but who knows which Chelski will show up… defensive cunts or attacking cunts. Nonetheless they’re all cunts.
    Wenger may release the special weapon in Kallstrom and score us that winner we so desperately want. COYG!!!

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    • Less chance of losing any of the team to serious injury if Ramirez is out (still possible but less likely).
      But the Chavs seem to have taken over the Premier League referees ‘favourite club’ position from the surrey Mancs, so still a very good chance we’ll have 5 penalties against us and 3 players sent off whilst the ref gives Ivanovic a yellow for bringing an axe onto the pitch (but he gets away with it for 25mins!!!).

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    • The referee is Mark Clattenburg, against whom the Chavs filed a totally specious racism charge not so very long ago. Also, with Clattenburg in charge, over the two years we have five wins in five matches. I think it’ll be nice, for a change, to have a referee on the pitch who dislikes our opponents much more than he dislikes us.

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  13. I guess Wenger will go with Flamini along with Arteta and Carzola or Ox in the attacking role with the other on the right side. This is the type of game that we really need Rosicky with his motor and technical ability. We will be very short on the bench in midfield, may be the time for a Kallstrom sighting (if so that means we are in trouble).

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  14. I can feel myself going all Kevin Keegan on those classless financially doped classless historyless classless bunch of classless muthafuckers.

    John Terry is a cunt.

    ……. That felt somewhat cathartic.

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  15. Team pretty much picks itself for this one, apparently. Although every time I think I’ve guessed the lineup Wenger’s gone and done something different.

    We have GOT to get Ox running at Sideshow Bob though, and keeping their LB occupied.

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  16. Chelsea will use a midfield of Matic and Luiz and try to score on the counter attack. What they don’t know is, if Koscielny, Mertesacker, and Flamini had defended the Hot Gates, Iran would still be sending troops to Greece now. One nil to the Arsenal. COYG!!

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  17. I’d not be surprised to see Gnabry subbed on either, as there’s hardly anyone else fit to be left on the bench!
    Also hope Flamini can stop himself being sent off – he’s easy to provoke and you know Chavs will do just that.

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