Hodgson invites Welbeck & Wilshere to England shindig


Roy Hodgson is planning to invite Danny Welbeck and Jack Wilshere to an England squad meeting next week at St George’s Park.

The duo, who haven’t kicked a ball in anger since last season, will join fellow Gunners Kieran Gibbs, Theo Walcott and Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain at the casual catch-up as the national team ramp up their preparations for EURO 2016.

It’s expected as many as 40 of the 47 players called up in the past by Hodgson will be asked to attend.

The get-together is expected to take place on Thursday evening after the players have trained with their respective clubs.

Leaked documents reveal that the players will spend the night in a bespoke dormitory with 19 bunk beds made available for slumber. Harry Kane’s request, that he be allowed to sleep under a nearby bridge, has been accepted by the coaching staff. Fraser Forster will be asked to stand guard after reading the Sp*rs striker a bedtime story.

The rest of the squad are expected to be entertained by a production of Shakespeare’s ‘Henry V’ with Danny Dyer, the lead, doing a Q&A before and after. The itinerary reveals the players will then recite an oath to the Queen, eat a dinner of roast beef before retiring to the games room where Dapper Laughs will compère an hour of ‘pass-the-parcel’ and ‘musical chairs’.

Wilshere and Welbeck are likely to sit out both games for fear of paper cuts and sore bottoms respectively. Theo Walcott is keeping his fingers crossed that ‘hide-and-seek’ will be played after weeks spent honing his invisibility.

A smaller squad of around 23 will convene next month when England play friendlies in Germany and at home to Holland.


  1. Completely off topic, but is everyone enjoying the Gary Neville debacle as I am? Who will listen to that guy’s tactics on Sky Sports now?

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    • To be honest, I will. Just like being an excellent pundit hasn’t made him an excellent manager, his time at Valencia is going to make him a terrible pundit all of a sudden.

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    • I like to see young English managers do well, plus ever since he took up his sky position he’s been totally unbiased and actually, on the whole, very complimentary about Arsenal. He’s a hell of lot better at punditry than a certain ex-player of ours, too..

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      • He did sound pretty objective and fair in his assessment while being a pundit. Maybe it’s just me, but having seen him mess it up, it will be very difficult for me to take any pundit seriously now, especially if/when they start bashing professional managers for being tactically naive and all.

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  2. Gunners, don’t sleep next to Rooney. He farts more than Shrek and fucks anything that moves. I take it Theo has been dropped by Woy or has a paper cut from re-reading his new contract. Just saying.
    Speaking of Rooney, I hope we tear Leicester a new Wayne on Sunday.
    Make it like the start of the Man Utd home game, a wave of red and 3 quick goals. I’m off to bed now.

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  3. Makes sense, you’d have to think that they would both walk into the squad this summer (providing they’re physically capable of doing so, of course).

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  4. Good job Kane likes to sleep under bridges (does that include Wayne) and Forster reading stories and standing guard – certainly explains why there is only 19 bunk beds!!!

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  5. A thought on England fc

    Every now and then I read or hear that England FA are doing a review on the current state of football in England. I’ve never stayed tuned to hear what the findings were. But guessing from the results they can’t of been good or implemented.
    The one common denominator seems to be those at the top of the FA ( I don’t know the internal structure or make of the FA. But it is the same as all other parts of the “establishment”. Current head used to be the head of the bbc, I think there’s one that used to work in the finacial sector too.)
    I won’t get into the whole tin foil type theory, BUT, I’m guessing that if the review or inquiry into the state of foot in England was done by anybody that has no connection to those at the top it’s first “suggestions” would be to change those at the top and how they are appointed.
    I’m only guessing though.

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  6. Only on goal difference!!! It will all change if city pummel the spuds this weekend, we also need to make sure we beat Leicester – now wouldn’t that be a fantastic weekend. Btw although I think there will be many other fans supporting Leicester, I doubt that will include Forest or Derby fans!!!

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  7. I’m I the only person who thinks that the England national team is just a complete waste of time? When was the last time that they actually did anything worth talking about? I’m English but I gave up on my nation’s football side a long time ago.

    Everybody knows what’s coming this summer: England will turn up in France full of optimism, get beat by the first decent team they come up against and then traipse back home with their tails between their legs. And the really annoying thing will be that Arsenal’s English players will have been deprived of the decent summer break which they ought to have on order to be fresh for the new season. Wenger should have the option of refusing to send his players out on such a pointless exercise.

    Subject change: at the start of the season, who would have thought that the game at home v Leicester would turn out to be the biggest match of the campaign for us? It’s a must-win one. If we lose then the title is surely gone: an eight-point lead by the Foxes would be too large a gap to close. And Spurs, City and United are all menacingly lurking around us, waiting for a slip.

    The next month is going to be massive; but I fear that in thirty days’ time things are going to look very bleak.

    But that’s just me being negative – for a change.

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  8. The last time England fc did anything of note was in 2002 and 2006 when they genuinely looked like they could have won the world cup and European cup respectively – I think they should have won the latter!!!

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