Kroenke reveals Arsenal fan has world’s best helicopter

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Stan Kroenke has revealed that a South African Arsenal fan has got the best helicopter in the world.

The club’s majority shareholder let slip in the information in an interview in which he talked about his controlling interesting in Arsenal.

He waffled a bit about spending, said something vaguely patronising and dismissive about ‘middle eastern’ owners of Premier League clubs, blabbered about stats and not spending money, and talked up the importance of having a manager with an economics degree – you can read it all here.

But the thing that stuck out for us was this bit. Speaking about how much Arsenal means to fans, he said:

“We have a gentleman who comes to Arsenal games, he flies his helicopter from South Africa, Cape Town to London quite often. It’s just an example of what a brand can mean, and what we can do in sports.”

Remarkable. Now, we looked into this a bit, and used the Internet as a tool for knowledge, rather than one to call someone names from a safe distance.

Using a so-called ‘search engine’ we asked: How far can a helicopter fly?

Yahoo Answers user ColeD provided this response: the world’s largest helicopter can fly about 745 miles without refueling.  so a normal helicopter would prob. be somewhere around 200 to 400 miles without refueling.

Ask.com said: The most-advanced helicopters can fly up to 300 miles before having to refuel. How long any particular helicopter can fly without refueling depends on the size, weight and age of the helicopter

Straight Dope Message board user Raveman said: A Bell 407 – kind of your standard but quite nice commercial helicopter — has a max airspeed of 140 knots and a range of about 330 miles. So you’re looking at 7 or 8 refueling stops, and nearly 20 hours of flight time. You’re not going to find military helicopters that are that much different in terms of speed or range, except for maybe some experimental ones.

That’s pretty much covered the spectrum of human knowledge right there, and here’s the shocking thing – the distance between Cape Town and London is 6011 miles. That is completely OUTSIDE the range of any helicopter currently known to man.

So what the hell is going on here? Has Kroenke been siphoning off transfer funds to help one of his mates develop a long-distance helicopter? Has he let the Airwolf Genie out of the bottle?

We’ll let you make up your own minds, but ultimately it’s obvious that Kroenke is using Arsenal as a way of testing new US Military technology before President Trump begins World War 3 the day after his inauguration.

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67 Comments on "Kroenke reveals Arsenal fan has world’s best helicopter"

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Arsene-al fan

Would be nice for Stan to think about how to get Arsenal flying rather than this.

Arsene-al fan

And I’m sure that he will be slammed for saying ‘you would never get involved if you want to win championships’. Though I take the point that if the money isn’t there and stable then owners might walk away, it would be good to hear that winning was the key thing for Arsenal and his principal aim.

IamaGoober

Stan Kroenke has zero interest in us winning anything. All he cares about is the dollar bills. That is it.

There is zero point getting rid of Arsene with this total chump at the helm, nothing will ever change.

SG_Gooner

i wonder what is he smoking in his ranch….

should get usmanov to make him disappear & we should re-appoint david dein back

Possession

What a tool !

SB

Now I know why he is the Silent Stan – stay that way!!

Podolski's Hashtag

I think he made a mistake. He obviously didn’t mean helicopter. We know he’s not stupid. Give him a break. What he meant to say was “magic carpet” surely.

Rob67

Ha Ha ! I needed a laugh and that provided it.

waitina

Taking the piss, innit?

Heroldg

I was wondering when Stan was gonna jump the gun and address the current Arsenal slump but he’s gone one better and is now talking about Helicopters!…I fucking love Helicopters!

Certainly my most favourite subject regarding Arsenal right now. hurray Kroenke

Carlsenal

Haha.. I’m not sure whether its the wine or that comment that just made me pee myself

David marshall

It’s the word “brand” that tells you all you need to know about Silent Stan. It’s our club not some commodity to be traded.

Preferred him silent!

Arseblog-mania

SS shafts everyone who works for him or supports his teams where possible. I have never previously held a position on his suitability or otherwise as Arsenal owner but the link below tips the scale. Stan Kroenke is a LOW LIFE

http://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/la-rams-try-to-pull-a-fast-one-in-new-contracts-nflpa-steps-in/ar-AAgH7oL?li=BBnba9I&srcref=rss&ocid=iehrs

Toure motors

Touch of the kenny liars about that one.

ClockEndRider

Yeah reckon Stan’s being conned by a bloke called Derek who really comes in from Colindale in his Vauxhall Zephyr.

the_finger

I’m in stitches

Third Plebeian

Awesome.

Gooneron

Busted

Asim Mahmood

He could be stopping from time to time to refuel, making his journey all the more hard there by stressing on what an effort this fan puts in to be with Arsenal.

Stringfellow Hawke

An Airwolf reference on Arseblog? Yep, my life is complete.

ClockEndRider

Doesn’t everyone go to home games via helicopter?
No? Oh you poor, poor people…..

He is Well Beck Now!

Imagine 60000 helicopters taking off from Arsenal at the end of each game! What a scene it would be?

offbeat madoda

Wonder if there is room in the dudes chopper for me…since hes going that way anyway….

Proff Gooner

Maybe he could pick up a few people in Calais as they have the fighting spirit in them to get to a better place that our players could learn from.

Forever COYG!!!

Miranda

So it seems the reason we’re going to the US is because the fucking Rams have an image problem right now – no surprise there – and Kroenke wants to use us to get their fanbase back onside. As reported in the Telegraph:

‘“Arsenal . . . are playing and training in Southern California this summer for the first time . . . So that’s all good. That will raise the profile of the Rams’

God knows why I’m shocked at the blatant cynical cheek of it. It’s not like this is anything new or uncharacteristic of Kroenke, but you’d think even he would at least pretend that the summer jaunt in the US was to give US Arsenal fans a chance to see their team playing live.

Third Plebeian

No doubt Kroenke will force the entire team to fly to the US in helicopters.

Wenger: “But, Stan….”

Kroenke: “Don’t worry, it’ll make it. I know a guy who travels all the way from South Africa to London in one of these!”

Gunman

He doesn’t have a clue about ‘soccer’ apparently Wenger told him that finishing 4th was better than 1st.

Yaya Binks

comment image

Rectum_Spectrum

Everything simultaneously makes less and more sense now.

Buzzy Gurkha Gunner

Stan : Eminem

Indiegooner

Wow, is Rambling Pete actually Stan Kroenke?

spinner

Kroenke isn’t fit to lick RP’s boots.

GoonerOfPuppets

Just read the complete interview, I must admit was I very disappointed as a fan. If you don’t have anything invested in Arsenal you might be interested in it. Might.

Kosc' other Pocket

Wow, that’s so encouraging Stan.

Terry

Probably meant Camden town!

Ozil's brother

“… It’s just an example of what a brand can mean, and what we can do in sports.”

This kind of sum up everything that’s going on in that guy’s mind. I wouldn’t be surprised though if arseblog’s conclusion is actually the case.

Tony Hall

And in more important news City dropped two points at Norwich and didn’t use their game in hand to leapfrog us into third …

Norwegiangooner

What worries me is that from the way he talks it doesn’t matter who sits in the manager chair. We can fire Wenger and bring in a whole new backroom staff and things would be the same. Why? Because what matters to silent stan is how much money he can squeeze from the club and into his own pocket.

If building a financial platform is so important than why has he no problem pulling out 3 million for “services rendered”?

Eastupper

At some undefined point in history, money became the measurement of a persons character instead of wisdom. That was a bad day.

Stuck on repeat...

Already disliked Kronke, but Good Lord having read the interview Stan’s an even bigger knob than I gave him credit for. The guy’s a complete tool.

greg

USA! USA! USA!

ArseDownUnder

He’s using a new super fuel developed by Flamini. Hope it goes on the market soon so I can make the odd game from Oz in my Renault Clio.

ciderman

Ole ole ole ole ole ole ole ole ole ole ole ole ole Everton 2 chav scum 0 and that dirty little git costa gets sent off!!! Only one team I loathe left – manure!!!!!

Cape Town Gooner

Who is this man?! And can I get lifts to games with him?

He is Well Beck Now!

Yes if you don’t mind doing 20 pit stops!

Eddie

Its a supercopter! They stop anywhere….

Eddie

I meant “don’t stop

Gunneddown The Great

I was thinking the same thing. Hope he isn’t making collections for the fuel bill. I’m spent on tissues and Plasmas every time I read shit like this and watching high flyers under perform. Wenger out Kroenke not far behind.

Parth

Ironic to comment on fans coming to games when you rarely show up despite being the majority owner.

A question for everyone: which current football team owner would you love to replace Mr. Stan?

goat

fans

Mr.Wood

I think the time has come for us all to club together and buy arsenal football club back from the clutches of the silent one! I’m sure if we all look down the back of our sofas…..

Mr.Wood

So I only found half a biscuit and a couple of jigsaw puzzle pieces. Anybody else?

Hassan Ally Osman

Oh!how stupid and silly this lad is, I wish He’ll somehow sell his shares and leave Our old Arsenal we’re extremely fed up with Him!!!!

trugun

Oh ye of little faith, have you not heard of in flight refueling? C’mon fellas with the season we’re having you’ve got to laugh.

Paul

Meh to all of this…looking forward to the game tomorrow COYG!

Dixon's Awesome Own Goal
Dixon's Awesome Own Goal

Yep, let’s all stick our heads in the sand while our majority shareholder (not owner), happily talks about mugging us off. Worst thing for me is that this guy persuaded our previous board to sell to him. No due diligence whatsoever on their part?

spinner

Agreed, the guy is a cunt. Pure and simple.
Not finding any of this funny.
I want Arsenal to win trophies.
He wants Arsenal to make him money.

Dorset Gonner

Stan’s going be here a while as Arsenal fans aren’t united. All members should have backed the st holders this week and not brought tickets for the Watford game tomorrow. Probably the only opportunity to show the club the fan base is united and want the current dictatorship out. Look at that the Liverpool fans a few weeks ago. They presented a united front and ticket prices were reduced in a matter of days. All this division just helps ss maintain the status quo, ripping off fans and taking 3m a year. The real fans have been pushed out and replaced by tourists.

spinner

The problem with your analogy is that LFC owners need the fans to buy tickets because they don’t have a load of foreign tourists in Liverpool happy to pay £60 a ticket if the fans don’t go.
In London there is a huge number of tourists happy to snap up tickets (and shell out for merchandise and refreshments) so the Board don’t care if the real fans don’t want to take the tickets. They will probably make more money if the tourists buy tickets instead.

Feed the Ox

What IS he smoking over there?

PodB

I just had a helicopter chunder off the deck after reading Stan’s BS

Heroldg

Quick…everyone go on EBay. Get a helicopter, maybe flying to games will improve how we play. Fucking Stan!

Bob Davis

How about charging this guy the highest priced tickets and give us working people a ticket at a price that we can afford.

The guy is completely deranged. 800 mill for a fucking ranch. Why not invest that money into his sporting portfolio. He might get some success and be happy and make others happy.

TeeCee

Never mind the range, it must have the dog’s bollocks of stealth technology too.
Otherwise we’d have noticed it landing at the Emirates just before every home match.

Ondi

Just when I thought Arseblog couldn’t get any better you go and put Airwolf in there too. Well done blogs! Dreams do come true.

matthewn5

“brand” “sports”

Vomit

Eddie

It goes to show how they can easily lie there. In the same mould as what the Trump might conjure up, he figured they wouldn’t know about the geography being talked about there and thought to sneek in a little embellishment…..:)

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