Having witnessed the ever-increasing popularity of Arsenal Fan TV, Arsenal are to launch their own version from the beginning of next season.
Already auditions are being held to find ‘personalities’ who will be interviewed before and after games, with the express purpose of cancelling out some the more negative content produced elsewhere.
Arseblog News was contacted by one of the fans asked to try out for the channel, and we have a copy of the letter sent by the club’s Digital Media Manager to provide details of time, place and what is required.
The club believe they have to fight back as increasingly tempestuous post-game coverage dominates social media.
Our source told us, “They were very clear that what they wanted were people who could remain positive throughout the season and not ‘flip-flop’ over a couple of bad results.
“The idea is that when Arsenal win praise will be obvious, but when things go wrong it’s about having people who can find the positives and counter what they called the ‘pernicious nastiness’ that is so prevalent these days.”
With almost 600,000 subscribers to the club’s official YouTube channel, there’s already a large platform to launch the new service and it has the full backing of majority shareholder Stan Kroenke who believes fans complaining about not winning the league are simply overreacting.
On the American’s advice, the club have been working closely with PR giants FleishmanHillard to prepare and launch what they feel will be an important ‘alternative voice’ for ‘fans who just can’t take all the negativity’.
Some of the features planned include:
- Player ratings where the performances of individuals will be measured from 1-10 as normal, but using ‘hugs’ as a marker. That way even if someone plays poorly and gets 3 hugs out of 10 they’re still getting some love from fans.
- When the league table is displayed via graphics, it’s always done alphabetically. That means Arsenal will always be top and that will subliminally create a mood of positivity, even if it’s not reflective of the actual table.
- Words like ‘defeat’ and ‘loss’ will not be used after poor results, because they affect people’s perception of what actually happened. The terms ‘three point robbery’ and ‘Almost victory’ will be applied instead. A draw will be called a ‘half-win’.
- Non-match day features including ‘Remembersaurus’ when Gunnersaurus recreates classic Arsenal goals on the Emirates pitch, and ‘Can you lob your Seaman?’, when fans try and chip the ball over the former goalkeeper from a variety of distances.
The theme tune is set to be recorded by local Islington rapper MC Storm-Cloudz to ‘connect with the YouTube demographic’, and will be an adaptation of the Lord’s prayer, with the following lyrics:
Who art in heaven
Blessed be thy Arsenal bredren
This match day is our daily bread
Theo causing defenders DREAD
Forgive us our bad passes
And deliver us the title
It seems like the club are really pulling out all the stops to keep things on message. More on this as and when we have it.