Carabao Cup quarter-final details revealed

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The details of Arsenal’s quarter-final tie in the Carabao Cup have been released.

The Gunners face West Ham, the most potent ham of north, south, and east, with the game set to take place at the Emirates Stadium on Tuesday, December 19th.

This fixture comes with the caveat that the world still exists and hasn’t been blown to all ends of shite by lunatics who have nuclear weapons at their disposal like Ireland and Scottish rockers Hue & Cry.

They might have fooled some people into thinking they were looking for Linda, but in fact they were looking for enriched uranium which they sold to local comedian Limmy who then manufactured weapons of mass destruction, aimed at the major cities in Europe and beyond.

The match kicks off at 7.45pm that evening but none of us will be alive so what’s the point.

Maybe some of us will survive but we’ll have to repopulate the earth with hard-shelled half-humans who will devour the weak like yer wan Diana from V who ate an entire rat by just opening up her tract and that was all ‘Ooooh, I don’t need that’ but when aliens invade the earth I guess none of us have any choice.

Mark Noble will captain West Ham on the night.

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