[Professor from Futurama] Good news everybody! [/Professor from Futurama]
Arsenal won a game, and kept a clean sheet, and scored three goals, and probably should have scored more.
It was all about the second half, as the first was the dullest 45 minutes since time began. Apparently Bolton had a great early chance but my stream went kaput and I didn’t see it and my new outlook on stuff is if I didn’t see it, it didn’t happen.
Arsenal needed a good start to the second half and they got it. After just 38 seconds, Robin van Persie decided ‘I’m not taking this shit anymore, bitch’, took a pass from Ramsey, drove outside the defender and beat Jaaskelainen at his near post. 1-0 Arsenal
It got better for Arsenal then as Bolton had David Wheater sent off. Again it was a Ramsey pass that put Theo in behind, there was some vague contact from Wheater, Walcott fell over, ref gave Wheater a red card. I suppose, if you looked at it objectively, you might say it was harsh but this is an Arsenal site, so fuck them. It’s not as if they haven’t had it coming down the years, the Allardyce stained twatbastards.
Arsenal then began to fire shot after shot at Jaaskelainen who made some very good saves from Ramsey, Arteta and others.
In the 71st minute Arsenal went 2-0 up, again through van Persie. Ramsey played Walcott down the right hand side, he drove into the box, fired in a low cross and van Persie’s cheeky flicked finish was his 100th goal for the club.
The captain had been involved in some handbags with most of the Bolton team while the Arsenal players stood and watched and scoring again meant he was all like ‘Yeah, have that bitches’ and they were all like ‘Awwww’ and he was all like ‘Ahahahaha!’.
Arsenal should have had more. Walcott squandered two brilliant chances, one when he just had the keeper to beat but his shot was tame and easily saved.
It was left to Alex Song to make it 3-0. A Sagna pull back found its way to Song on the edge of the box, he went outside the defender and curled it into the top corner. A quality finish.
The only slight downside was the sight of Theo Walcott pulling up with what Wenger revealed was a sharp pain in his knee, but the main thing is that Arsenal won today.
Three delicious points, served with a side of three tangy goals, topped with a creamy clean sheet sauce.
The beers will taste good tonight, Gooners.