EXCLUSIVE: UEFA disciplinary document leaked

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Despite security like Fort Knox and a fresh installation of Norton Anti-Hack, Arseblog News has gotten hold of a top secret UEFA document.

It’s a list of offences contrary to the organisation’s disciplinary code and the mandatory fine which should be applied to each one.

Click the image to enlarge or download it as a PDF here.

UEFA disciplinary fines and procedures

 

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RYAN.GAY.4.AFC

Put simply: FUCK UEFA!

Maddo

Pure Genius. Love It. Yet So So true

jeff

Sorry, but how the fuck can anyone hit “dislike” on this comment?

alistair

Probably 3 Barca fans who disliked that comment. 🙂

Danny

This is brilliant haha. Arsenal are just hated on so much.

It is what it is

But, why the hatred?

If this personal witchhunt continues, we will not be advancing past the group stages of the CL in the near future. We do everything as a club/organisation should and we get punished – community/youth/local development + austere and prudent financial planning + playing the game the best way.

Off topic, but it reminds me of Prost and FIA president vs Senna. Maybe small man syndrome?

It is what it is

Great post, forgot to mention. Might be worth having a news section for Arsene’s disciplinaries.

AFC

Arsenal is hated so much because they play by the rules and follow them whereas UEFA (and other clubs) don’t.

If UEFA doesn’t follow its own rules and has to abide to them due to a supposed “law follower” that does create some tensions…

Christopher Page

this is amazing!

Nate

Love it blogs…UEFA is a complete joke of an organization.

Ha Spain

Nice one! haha.

RadCarrot

This has made my morning. Thank you Blogs, absolutely brilliant.

GoonerBob

Hilarious!

Ejor

muahahaha..

Rith

OMG, You are Fucking Genius, blogs.

Texgun

The plot thickens into a souffléd dungheap, with lots of dirty tongues licking the pot clean. Have a gander.

http://blog.emiratesstadium.info/archives/19848

Fed up of Barca

read this the other day.

In fact, since 2006 I’ve firmly believed that footy is fixed. That’s why wenger keeps getting in trouble – nobody can question the currupt officials or the truth may come out, whack him with a fine and ban and he can’t keep complaining.

Jamie

I agree referees may subconsciously favour Barcelona due to the whole ‘everyone loves them’ thing. And yeah, the people at UEFA clearly have their favourites which obviously doesn’t include Wenger. But the idea of a full-blown bribe/conspiracy just seems outlandish to me.

feygooner

I’m a conspiracy nut, but there is no match fixing in UEFA or the EPL. Everyone’s talking about the Nesta shirt pulling, but Sanchez had a clear penalty denied at the San Siro, which would have given Barca a precious away goal. There is no conspiracy.

Fed up of Barca

Happened in France, happened in Italy.
Even Fifa have set up a specialised anti match fixing department (though I wouldn’t count them out of being involved).

I agree yesterdays shirt pulling was a blatent pen, but thes doesn’t mean fixing doesn’t go on.

There are literally 100’s upon 1000’s of dodgy decisions, whilst some could be due to incompetence, surely not all of them can.

Read untold Arsenal and if your worried about pro-arsenal bias then read football is fixed blogs. Theres some pretty shocking things on those blogs.

feygooner

I honestly think that Arsenal get less decisions than most teams – I remember a couple of seasons ago when we didn’t get a penalty for months despite many legitimate claims – but there’s a difference between bad refereeing and bribing referees. To claim that Barca have bribed UEFA (or any similar claims) is an extraordinary claim, and extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. I read untold Arsenal and I don’t think that what they do can be properly described as “evidence”. They do not even seem to have the laws of the game.

vlado

finally.. a world wide exclusive by arseblog.. you’ve come a long way…

Sobhan

Trying to score against Barca at Nou Camp — red card. How the referee didn’t show red to Busquets for that own goal is beyond me.

Nick

Fucking brilliant!

UEFA are cunts!!! (Can’t be said enough or meant more)

1M for not being Barcelona = priceless!

[…] outstanding work from Arseblog. We sincerely hope to high heaven that it’s a spoof, but the sad fact of the matter is that […]

Stevo

Hilarious!

Reading this though just winds me up even more! UEFA – the only bigger joke than them is FIFA sadly.

gooner

UEFAlona.
They must be the man u of the champions league. All the wrong calls against you and the favourable decisions they get even themselves out over the course of the season.

argonaut

Rue de Spastique. LOL!

Ty

Fucking genius.

[…] mai ales că forul internaţional pare să le împartă fără legătură unele cu celelalte!Arseblog a publicat un aşa zis document oficial prin care erau stabilite penalizările în funcţie de […]

GoonerNugget

We are all felled by stupid at some point, I suppose.

feygooner

stuiped*

Cynical Cunt

Hahahaha bravo, just fucking bravo.

the only sam is nelson

ahahahaha as frank carson would have said, it’s a carker

Cygan's Right Foot

i think you mean cracker, not sure what a carker is…..

Matt F

At least he was “nomal” after he fell.

Ebouefan

He is right though.Why disembowel when a flaying would be enough?

Holloway2Holland

The name has been blacked out to protect the idiot innocent

Gooner Sam

Brilliant!

Keep up the good work Arseblog!

DaveL

Fantastic!

But still, every time I am reminded about the RVP card against Barcelona I get soooooooo fucking angry.

Nik

rue de spastique. brilliant.

Kafata

“Shooting less than 2 seconds…”

I don’t get this one… am I missing something?

jeff

Er “missing something” Yeah.

RVP sent off at the nou camp last season, for “kicking the ball away”

RadCarrot

The match against Barca where RvP got sent off, he was given a second yellow for ‘dissent’, which basically was because he kept playing and hadn’t heard the whistle blow for offside. It was one of the most ridiculous decisions ever and essentially lost us any chance of getting back into the game.

Cygan's Right Foot

Don’t judge me too harshly as i wanted a Benfica win but did anyone see Drogba last night foul Aimar (i think) and run about 20/25 yards with the ball after the whistle had gone. No yellow for him…..

Ebouefan

Seems legit.

CAGooner

“Not being Barcelona”–you made me spit coffee out my nose!

The Upbeat Gunner

1939 Rue de Spastique! LAWL!

Tacklr

They get penalties when they want, Barcelona. Messi have scored 5 penalties in the CL this season, more than any other player did in one season in the CL history, and Barca were awarded more CL in one season than any other team.

Ah, and that Biscuits guy. Whenever you see him roll on the turf like he does, you get the impression that both of his legs were hacked off by Showcross, but you realize he was acting when you see him up and running after the opponent gets penalized.

TeeCee

Well of course.
If other teams were allowed to tackle Barca players without any comeback, it would interrupt that continuous passing football and stream of “Ole”s from the crowd that makes Platini and his cronies cream their pants.

Fucking easy to play that way when everyone on the other side knows that any attempt to dispossess the bastards will result in a free kick against them.

Cygan's Right Foot

If i was a manager in Spain, i’d tell my players to go in hard (not dangerously, as i wouldn’t want a repeat of the Ramsey/Eduardo tackles) and try to win the ball. I would take the yellow and red cards as long as i showed the Barca players what being hurt in a tackle actually meant. It might also show the other smaller clubs that they shouldn’t be scared of their passing game…… Right, I’m off to go and get my UEFA B & A badges, see you in 9 years in the La Liga. My team will be… Read more »

Adam, Watford

I’d like to donate Stoke City to La Liga’s top tier for a season or two. Perhaps then that will earn Pulis’ Potters some respect, after they have knacked Barca in one fell / foul swoop !!!!

Shawcross on Messi ? It could end up messy, with Messi well and truly up-ended !

Did I just overdo that last sentence ? Sorry. I just got carried away, unlike Messi who would be carried off . . . oops, I just did it again. Sorry.

sadeq

Fuck UEFA and Platini. fuck him right in his ear

Holloway2Holland

I think the word “heh” covers it perfectly.

[…] Finally, I urge everyone to read the Disciplinary Protocols that arseblog has managed to uncover from the UEFA vaults, see here […]

Safety

Did anyone see how long Drogba played after the whistle last night, before miming that he couldn’t hear it? He dribbled another 20 yards after some heinous Chelsea foul / hideous Benfica dive (reverse order or delete as applicable) and rounded at least one more defender, who was gesturing for the return of the ball, before the ref got his attention (using what, telepathy? a half brick to the back of the head?). That was a match situation where time wasting definitely conveyed an advantage as well. I’d have given him three red cards, personally (assume this is now allowed… Read more »

domodium

boom…spot on…i unfortunately admit

diefenbaker

still remember tht damm bolton match a few years back, 2-2 i think, the kicking the team received , all the commentators applauding for sitcking it to the arse, good aggresive play, Just ridiculous.

The doc above is a pretty acurate description to me albeit satirical, should be forwarded to the press and cc to UEFA as well, just to create the awarness, cause from what i can tell only the gooners seem to notice ém, maybe because they are superior i guess. Just put it out there, so a neutral , anyone watching it would start taking note.