Bendtner & Jeffers: A tale of two strikers

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Somewhere in a parallel universe an ageing Franny Jeffers is still at Arsenal. Having led the line for the ‘Invincibles’ and broken Ian Wright’s scoring record the 31-year-old fan favourite has just signed a new one-year extension at the Emirates. The deal comes as little surprise given he’s the perfect foil for Ballon d’Or winner Nicklas Bendtner; the pair forming a little-and-large partnership which (much to chagrin of Michael Owen) continues to shake world football to its core.

For his part our Dane, buoyed by Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s tacit acceptance that he is neither as handsome or as good on the ball as his nemesis, remains unplayable. Now in his prime at the age of 25 he’s so deadly in the final third that football hipsters can’t help but spend their days creating ever-more ridiculously incongruous infographics to pay homage to his brilliance. He actually is The Greatest Striker That Ever Lived.

Alas in this world, the real one…perma-crock Bendtner, currently on loan at Juventus, has been cautioned for drink-driving while Jeffers, back in the UK after a failed spell with Maltese giants Floriana, has been arrested for waving a broom at police after an argument with his father-in-law.

It’s all rather sad. While Jeffers never really stood a chance at Highbury given the competition he faced, it’s flabbergasting to see the way his career has spiralled out of control since leaving the club eight years ago. He wasn’t THAT bad was he?

It’s rather a different case for Bendtner. He still has a chance to rescue a career at the highest level, but as the indiscretions and apologies stack up it does feel like his career is passing him by and he hasn’t yet realised it. From hanging out with Lee Cattermole to taking the piss with his pants, he loves making headlines…just not for his exploits in front of goal.

Tweeting about his latest road-related balls-up the Dane stated:

“Dear friends i was booked for a mild case of drinkdriving last night it was a quite nite but i am very very sorry to all my friends and fans (sic).

“It is not ok to drink and drive. I take full responsibility.”

Amazingly he’s still on the books until the summer of 2014, although Arseblog News isn’t going out on a limb by suggesting his future is not in N5.

Too much too young? Too young to care? Too carefree to give a rodent’s bottom? Who knows…but Nicklas would be well advised to read up on the life and (hard) times of Francis Jeffers.

____

Update – The Danish FA have banned Bendtner from international duty for six-months following Saturday’s incident.

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Good-Bloke
Good-Bloke

Whatever.

Runcorn Gooner
Runcorn Gooner

The big if with Bendtner was IF he had scored the late goal against Barcelona and we had won after RVP was sent off where would he be now.
The big IF about the original fox in the box was too long ago to think about.

Lec
Lec

We’re in 2013, it’s Warevs now.

hopelessARSE
hopelessARSE

10 days was just like in hell

🙁

please admin to make some moderation about comments, just dont let arsenal haters make everythin worse here…

Rectum Spectrum
Rectum Spectrum

After a lively start against Stoke City on 20 October 2007, Jeffers was on the end of a tackle from Ryan Shawcross and was stretchered off with ankle ligament damage. He was out for roughly seven weeks, a big blow after he had caused Stoke’s defence lots of trouble in his 40 minutes on the pitch, helping Sheffield Wednesday to a 4–2 away win.

TeeCee
TeeCee

Let me guess. Stoke put out a PR saying that it must have been a terrible accident because Shawcross is Not That Sort Of Player?

arseblog
Admin

Yes, yes they did

ChrisGoona
ChrisGoona

Never knew about this incident but I always knew that Shawcross needs putting down.

Rectum Spectrum
Rectum Spectrum

i was going to say its funny how history repeats itself. But its not funny at all.

argonaut
argonaut

A “mild case of drinkdriving”?

Jesus wept.

Micko
Micko

Mild case of drunk driving? What planet is he from? You get a mild cold or mild weather but mild drunk!!!
At least he is super super quality mildly drunk driving

argonaut
argonaut

At his funeral people will say he caught a mild case of death.

TeeCee
TeeCee

Well obviously he was caught behind the wheel after working his way through a case of mild.

Apparently there were bottle caps all over the inside of the car, including two stuck in the headlining.

50 Shades of Gandalf the Grey
50 Shades of Gandalf the Grey

TGDDTEL

CountLeaf

the greatest mildly drunk striker that ever lived.

Mr. Boner
Mr. Boner

I’m too lazy and disinterested to read the details of the story but it’s possible that he did this in Denmark and that Denmark has similar drink driving laws to Sweden, where driving with ANY alcohol in your system is considered drink driving. So he theoretically could have had a single beer and hour before driving, or something like that.

Rufusstan
Rufusstan

Yep he was picked up in Denmark, but it doesn’t really make a difference.

The limit there is lower there than here (0.08 VS 0.05), so he might not have been over here, but then again we have no idea how far he was over the limit
If it was the drink earlier option, then he must have been seriously pissed.

In the end it just looks like a mild case of stupid.

By the way, I see what you mean about Sweden. Hell thats in don’t have a second piece of Christmas cake territory, or be careful what pudding you have.

Eric Irish gunner
Eric Irish gunner

Proberly drunk on mild whiskey

christo
christo

the direct english translation of what he was charged for in denmark is mild drunk driving as opposed to heavy drunk driving

andy
andy

is a real pity with bendtner as i think he could have been a really good old-fashioned centre forward. unfortunately he seems to have the old-fashioned centre-forwards fondness for the booze. sooner we can get him off the books the better, although i doubt we’ll have many takers at this stage…

Pedro
Pedro

I am sure Bendtner wouldn’t score with the chicks either even after having alcohol in his veins for the same simple reason he can’t score on the field!

Ronnie
Ronnie

I still believe Wenger didnt show him much trust, he is better than Chamakh and Giroud he just needed to play a lot more…i remember him scoring 10 goals in 11 when RVP was injured.

ChrisGoona
ChrisGoona

The lack of trust is justified!!! Only a player of George Best’s quality is allowed the exception of turning up for work in a state. Bendtner as you should remember, often didn’t put the performances in on the pitch.

Rufusstan
Rufusstan

I can also remember the game (cannot remember which one right now), where he was playing up front, we really needed a goal and he missed 11 shops in a row, including a couple of sitters that my granny would have buried.

Midfield Corporal
Midfield Corporal

Burnley I think.

petits handbag
petits handbag

He scored at the Nou Camp,scored a hat trick a Champions League Knockout Round Game and nearly brought his country to the next round of the Euro’s….
But he is still Shit.
Bendtner not Jeffers

vino
vino

It won’t matter to Bendtner much if his career goes the same way as Jeffers. Bendtner is already richer than the Queen, while Jeffers has probably earned about 3 Grand plus subsidised lunches during his career.

Dano
Dano

doesnt really how much a character like Bendtner earns… a fool will always be parted with his cash http://espnfc.com/news/story/_/id/1362310/survey:-majority-of-players-will-go-broke?cc=4716

kunzeboom
kunzeboom

wow. it’s just so very, very hard to take a charity for professional football players seriously..yes they may only have that one talent and don’t know how to deal with money, but common!

Rufusstan
Rufusstan

It happens way more often than you think, and not just in football: most other sports, music, throughout entertainment.

Take a young kid with not a lot of education, throw more money at him than he knows how to deal with and he ends up with a lifestyle matching his income. More often than not they get surrounded with friends, agents ‘entourage’, even family, who either know no better or have a vested interest in keeping the kid spending.

When the money tap gets turned off, suddenly he has nothing left.

The ones that don’t fall into the trap are either smart enough to avoid it, or are lucky enough to get good financial advice early on.

It is another thing I am proud of about Arsenal, that as part of their training program, the kids get sat down and given financial advice (just as they get media training).

Thomas
Thomas

As a dane, it’s a real shame to see Bendtner waste his career. From being a hot prospect when he came back from Birmingham he is now nothing more than another mediocre footballer. Waste of talent…

manfredi
manfredi

agree, a complete waste of talent.
when looking at this…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19J7YR4ZVKg

great touch, great goal.
but we wont see that again, not a chance, i do think an italian club maybe, bottom serie A will take a chance on him…

mike
mike

I became sad after watching this. But thanks for the good memories…..

Manfredi
Manfredi

Sorry dude, three great goals though!

FlotDillah
FlotDillah

1:08 – some guy is wearing a giant Pat Rice head mask

catbiscuits
catbiscuits

Sky sports news reporting that Arsenal plan to ban (for life) the supporting that threw a banana at Bale.

If true…so stupid.

catbiscuits
catbiscuits

*supporter

Lec
Lec

Dammit, Arsenal should be dishing out season tickets for that and a seat next to kroenke whenever he attends games. So that he/she can yell to his face about how the club needs to be run…Ffs!

Goon
Goon

And shave his moustache. Or trim it.

Voldermort
Voldermort

We didn’t help paying the bloke 52k a week. Had we payed him what he was worth maybe he could have got a decent club and his career back on track.

Frog
Frog

This is all bullshit. He’s a better striker than theo and giroud. Wenger stuck him out on the wing, nick lost interest. The amount of shit he gets is lame. can anyone actually say they prefer the chances of giroud scoring over the chance of nick scoring? I call bullshit. This is another one of Wengers massive fuck ups. Bendtner a winger? FFS.

Fatgooner
Fatgooner

I actually agree with both of you. Bendtner had the potential to be a very good striker but the ridiculous amounts of money that he was paid, plus the coaching mismanagement of Wenger, ruined his career.

There is an entire syndrome in football now where players are destroying their playing careers by chasing money and not thinking of the consequences of signing for certain clubs.

Adebayor, Nasri, Fabregas, Hleb and Flamini would all have been better off staying at Arsenal rather than diving for the cash. And look at Man City: would Jack Rodwell or Scott Sinclair be better off had they stayed at their clubs.

Greed is NOT good.

ChrisGoona
ChrisGoona

That’s just ridiculous. Bendtner had everything at Arsenal, since he left you can see how Wenger and Arsenal kept him on course to become a real player for us because he has simply lost his way. He had the perfect environment, a manager who believed in him, and a manager who played him when most fans were taking the piss out of him. Bendtner ruined himself, why is there a need to blame everything on the manager. Leave your agenda’s aside.

John Dale
John Dale

Just FYI, Fabregas took a paycut. Move to Barcelona was in not way motivated by money. I can’t say the same for the rest of the players though.

Jim Jimminy
Jim Jimminy

Its a sign of the problems we have when i start to think bendtner could still be useful to us…hope it doesnt progress to chamakh.

Jenkinsagna
Jenkinsagna

True, when he managed to actually play a run of games he was scoring pretty consistently…more than Giroud manages.

Henners
Henners

This cheered me up so much, thanks blogs!

davonewzealand
davonewzealand

Bendtner Chamakh, Dennilson, Frimpong, Park, Arshahavin, Squillaci.
500,000 Quid a week . Top top top quality players. Part of our sound economic model. Lol. Can only get better. I hope.

HungarianGooner
HungarianGooner

I think Frimpong could be a good player.He is just 20 or 21 yrs old and he as I remember he had a terrible knee injury.IMO he deserves a chance.

ChrisGoona
ChrisGoona

How did Frimpong make that list? The guy hasn’t even had a chance with all his injuries. I doubt he is on mega money too.

soswang-africa
soswang-africa

Trim this fat and add some much needed beef to our DM

Lec
Lec

So a whole paragraph with shawcross and stoke in it and no mention of “cunts” whatsoever…..his should not be tolerated, no neverrrr!

Stephen
Stephen

Would’ve posted this under the Jenkinson/distraught post but some pass holder to the London Zoo caused it to be shut it down…

The current situation at Arsenal involves too much emotional investment. Arsene Wenger has become so much of a father figure that his reign borders on nepotism. If we weren’t so emotionally attached we’d have called for his head years ago. For what it’s worth, I still won’t because I don’t think any of us know the full story (Is it him? Is it the board? etc.)

If I was to be ruthlessly objective this summer I’d come up with some unpalatable solutions. Some big gambles are needed at this stage. Cut all the dead-wight, no matter the short term financial loss. Pay out the arse for some top players we’ve pussyfooted around for years before we completely cement our Miss Congeniality reputation.

The gravy train continues as long as we have a reputation as contenders. Every indecision has been made out of caution, but now we are in a position that the gravy train is in jeopardy of riding across a bridge that the board forgot to build. Fall outside the Champion’s League and hit a decade without success and Indonesian 7 year olds will go from buying our shirts to simply making them. The grand plan wasn’t terrible. If we pulled it off Wenger would’ve been a model for the sporting world – but we fell short. Let’s try something else. We were unlucky in and around the Fabregas years, but now it’s more than bad luck stopping us.

I will always support The Arsenal and unlike the fickle love of fair-weather fans I’ll always buy the merchandise because it’s a part of me. I know in all likelihood we’ll hit another era of success in my lifetime. But for this era there is still a chance.

The problem is I just don’t see the crowd in charge being able to take the leap for the long term. Look at how TV5 retains a position with no production to show for it, or how our strategy has let many’s a player like Mata to be taken from under our noses year after year.

For all their talk of not wanting short term gains to turn into long term losses, enough short term losses will inevitably turn into long term losses. But like I said there’s too much emotion invested in the strategy. Too much hope that it’ll turn around any moment, given time.

ChrisGoona
ChrisGoona

It’s easier said than done. Arsenal is run like a proper business, all expenses are covered. Bring a player like Mata into the equation and we suddenly have an extra 150k on the books, all the other players wondering why he is earning more than them, and a sizable chunk of your transfer budget invested on one player.

Man City, Chelsea and even United have greater reserves than us, its clear to see. We may be making a profit, but we haven’t been quite ready to move up to that level yet in terms of wages and player investment it seems.

The Walcott contract demonstrated that we can put more money into the team, but it seems a slow and cautious approach is being taken because of the potential of the FFP rules. His contract negotiations demonstrated how cautious we are, and you can understand why when players like Bendtner, Squillaci, Chamkah etc have taken up our wage budget as well.

My opinion is that things will now get better and in a significant proportion every season. Debt is clearing, sponsorship money is increasing, commercial side is developing, and Arsenal is not going to be short on investment. If there is a sensible manager around you would pick to capitalize off all this work, I don’t think we have to look far. He deserves the chance to get us back up there as Brady says.

Stephen
Stephen

This summer really is so crucial. More than any other since the 1990s. Even with money this Christmas, Wenger was unlikely to gamble on a winter purchase. But this will be the summer after the stadium and kit deals to really provide some cash. A really disappointing season could be a blessing in disguise, that will hit at just the right time to convince the right people that we need stronger players.

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jason
jason

Bendtner carried Arsenal most of the season when RVP got injured and did a good job.

But sadly he has a big ego, sometimes thats good but he took it to far.

Lasagna
Lasagna

Amazing how many players we have out in the world that we still own.

too jaded to be angry
too jaded to be angry

19 players out on LOAN at the moment. even in these cases i reckon we still stuck with at least 1/2 the wage bill.

Lec
Lec

It’s a good thing we have a buy back clause on the Carlos vela contract. I believe that if this lad wants, he can still have s future here at the club. He never played to his full potential and arsene hardly ever used him in the role he preffered. Turning into real deal for sociedad propelling them to/near top four…..that is something.

ChrisGoona
ChrisGoona

He never got enough playing time. Maybe didn’t show enough in training, or just didn’t fit into our system at the time. I was truly disappointed when he was sold.

Rufusstan
Rufusstan

Sadly, you always come back to the day at OT with Vela. People keep saying he was never the same afterwards.

You have to wonder that after being kicked up and down the pitch all afternoon, essentially fouled out of the game with no consequences, part of him thinks ‘what the hell am I doing here’.

Then again, he may have just not liked the cold 🙂

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furious arsenal fans
furious arsenal fans

Carlos vela may more suitable for this article

He could score 10+goals last season in sociedad

He showed his potential but his treatment wasn’t as same as Walcott’s. Not depending on his ability

fuzzy
fuzzy

once a clown, always a clown.