Koscielny: I want my own song


Laurent Koscielny says he’s desperate to earn his own chant after jokingly admitting he has no idea why other teammates prove more popular on the terraces.

Chuckling that teammate Olivier Giroud’s ‘Hey Jude’ inspired ditty must be the result of his popular good looks above anything else, the understated Gallic centre-back outlined his aims to secure the love of the Emirates before he retires. 

“I don’t know!” he told the Arsenal official magazine when quizzed on why his name is rarely sung.

“Maybe I need to have Olivier’s nose or his hair cut! Or maybe they don’t like me. Before I retire, I am hoping to have my own song!”

Arseblog News suspects Koscielny’s problem may be that his name rhymes with erm…pretty much nothing.

On more serious matters, the Frenchman also turned his attention to Mesut Ozil insisting the German international is a key component to Arsenal’s more efficient attacking play this season.

Reflecting on the importance of adding quality to a stable squad (is that a swipe at Sp*rs we detect?), Koscielny outlined why Ozil justifies his ‘superstar’ tag.

“We kept nearly the same squad as last season. You can choose to buy lots of new players for £100 million plus or buy one!

“The boss decided he preferred quality to quantity. He bought Mesut Ozil and 10 minutes into his first game he gave an assist to Olivier Giroud at Sunderland. Maybe Mesut was not what people thought we were missing but he only needs one opportunity and he gives an assist.

“The difference is there and that’s why we’re more efficient in front of goal this season. He gave more freedom to other players, too. He is our superstar. Others feel less pressure than before his arrival and we have more confidence.”

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Haha love all the (not so subtle) subtle swipes our players take at Sp*rs! Anyway, Kos doesn’t need to win me over…love him and the BFG dearly already!


I wanna pocket Koscielny’s pocket sounds fun. Will surely find a lot of suarez in there.


please explain this, it doesn’t make sense?


Here is the Kos Mash up Catch a diving scouse and put him in your pocket never let him go Catch a skunking dutch and put it in your pocket Kick him in the Little boy oh Laurent your so fine your so fine you blow my mind hey Laurent you were working as a stopper in a ligue 2 team When arsene met you he picked you out, he shook you up And turned you around Turned you into someone new Now four years later on you’ve got the world at your feet Success has been so easy for… Read more »


Get a more rhymable name kozzer


The best song written on the comments has to be by luke fergus

He puts the tackles in,
He’s gonna take you out,
In out, in out, play the ball about
Strikers see Laurent Koscielny, then they turn around,
That what we’re all about

Oh Laurent Koscielny, Oh Laurent Koscielny! Oh Laurent Koscielny!
Knees bend, arms stretch ra ra ra

Good Omens

I like that a lot Nat, runs better though as ‘Strikers see Koscielny’ imo..gets you through the initial bit faster (always a plus for a chant).


Nat that is the one for me! “Strikers see our Laurent” fits a little better for me.

Gutbukket Deffrolla

“They see our Koscielny, and they turn around” has the right number of syllables and fits the cadence of the original, plus “Our Koscielny” also sounds like Okey Cokey enough to be easy for people to handle.

So there. I win. Gimme my exploding cigar prize immediately. I have a toothache.


just to say it’s not my song but luke fergus i just wanted to get it near the top of the comments because it was too good to leave near the bottom. 97 likes shows this

Me So Hornsey

How about keeping it short, snappy, simple and relevant – Why don’t we just recycle Forest’s speedy defender Des Walker chant of the early 90s?

e.g “You’ll ne-ver beat Koscielny”

because, personally, I can’t remember seeing anyone beating Kos one on one. Also, I am convinced that that chant made Des Walker even faster in the opposing forwards psyche.


Had the same idea, that’s what I will be singing next game.


Yeah, but Vermaelen might hear it and take it the wrong way, thinking we’re singing ‘ You’ll never be Koscielny ‘


A-HA – Take on me.

Tackling away
I don’t know what I’m to say
I’ll save us anyway
Get past me and im going to catch you
clearing away
I’ll be coming for your legs, OK?

Take on me,
Take me on,
The ball’lll be goneeeee
In a second or twoooo

or something along those lines. I tried. hahaha. I just want this guy to have his own song, and rosicky to have his own banner. They deserve that shit.


Very simple, albeit hard to distinguish ‘laurent’

Ceeeelleeeebraaaateee Laurent come on!


DL Gooner

David bowies Changes

K k k koscielny

Rocky Rocastle

To the Tune of Tina turner:

Kosc is simply the best, better than all the rest, better than anyone, anyone iv’e ever known!

To the tune of Metallica, Memory Remains:

Lalalala la la la, Laurent Koscielny, Lalalala la la la, Laureeent Koscielny, Lalalala la la la, Laurent Koscielny! Lalalala la la la, Laureeent Koscielny! And so on.

That would work equally well to the hey Jude Giroud Song.


I would sing Koscielny song on the God save the queen tune.

And God save Koscielny!


Read one posted by a ‘Bingo’
Thought it was great.

To the tune of Haddaway – What is love.

‘What is love?
Laurent Koscielny
my love.’


he wants his own song, he wants his own soooooong! laurent koscielny, he wants his own song!


Haha he definitely deserves one, absolutely fantastic player.

Gunner From Another Mother

Those lucky enough to attend our matches need to get on it ASAP! This man deserves a chant big time!…perhaps in reference to the size of his pockets. Hell I don’t know, I’m no poet


This is very late I know, but I thought we could borrow one off our good friends the Barmy Army

(to the tune of “we are the army”)

Laurent Koscielny
Laurent Koscielny
You won’t get past him,
And keep the ball!
He’s kept out Suarez, and Lewandowski
You’ll never score a goal.


Granted you don’t hear it sung in the ground but “I want to dance with Koscielny” is absolutely brilliant and I catch myself singing it from time to time!


I wanna feel the heat with Koscielny!…


With Koscielny who loves me….

Dan Gunn

We sing it on the terraces!


Have we just witnessed the birth of a new chant? YAY!


Cuz Koscielny’s a Gooner!


Cause Koscielny’s a gooooooner


Laurent koscieeellllny, he is a gooner

oleg luzhny's son

i want a clean sheet with koscielny.

plus on a seperate topic, as much as i love santi’s song, i feel its a bit generic
lola by the kinks is an ideal song for him
‘he’s not the worlds most physical guy
im not dumb but i cant understand
how he passes like cesc and shoots like zidane oh cazorlaa
oh santi cazorla’
(I am aware that does not fit exactly)

Andrew Arshavin

Ha! – I was thinking that just singing “Lolo” (what Giroud and others call him) to the tune of “Lola” by the Kinks would work (just the chorus – Lalalalala Lolo, etc)

Would love to hear “I wanna dance with Koscielny” too!

A Yank in King Arsene's West Stand

Ah, that’s brilliant!! On Saturday I tried to do “Laurent Koscielny (clapclap clapclap clap)” like we used to do with the Dutch skunk’s name, but it just didn’t flow very well.

Kos definitely deserves a song, as does Szcz! (Especially considering the North Bank -quite rightly- sang for Mannone on Saturday, we need one for our own keeper!)


At the New York City Supporters club we sing “Wojciech Szczęsny, we can’t spell your name, but when we sing this song we’ll win the game”


Wojciech Szczeny built my house, built my house, built my house
Wojciech Szczeny built my house- he is Polish

David Egan

Fabianski fucked it up, fucked it up, fucked it up.
Fabianski fucked it up, he is Polish.


I guess you are The Sun reading and Radio 1 listening English Idiot, am I right ?


You’ve got me singing it my head now 🙂

E17's Tony Adams

North Bank Lower have been trying to get this going for months. It’s a great song as well, always raises a smile when it starts up


Kos the Boss !


Hey Kos
You may not have your song yet but on the pitch you are the Boss with massive inviscible pockets


I’ve been saying all season we need a song for Kos. Was really obvious after Sunderland when he and Per were doing a lap in front of the North Bank and the BFG was being sung. Would be good to hear us try “there is only one Laurent Koscienly”


Theme from Heartbeat (by Nick Berry) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mzeUhGsPrw)

Laurent Koscielny
He shits on John Terry”


It doesn’t matter that his surname doesn’t rhyme with anything. Thierry Henry’s chant and Santi Cazorla’s just rhyme with themselves. Mertesacker’s doesn’t even mention his name. Aaron Ramsey’s doesn’t rhyme at all, nor did Van Persie’s or the new Podolski version etc…

Giroud and Bergkamp needed rhymes. Not many others.


It’s pretty easy to use ‘Lolo’ into a song with or without rhyme.

Some of the above (and below) are better …but I would go with:

Laurent Koooscielnyyyy
You are the love of my life
Laurent Koooscielnyyyy
but you should stay with your wife
Laurent Koooscielnyyyy
Learn from Ollie Giroud

Yeh, ok, the 4th & 6th lines aren’t serious but you can see how it would work…


We (North Bank Lower) did try to sing “I wanna dance with Koscielny” when he scored his header last weekend! Sadly though, seems like it hasn’t caught on with the rest of the stadium yet.

On a related note, Kos and Flamini’s Unclassic Commentary video brought me much needed mid-week laughter. Everyone should have a look at that too!

jack jack jack

He got a couple of songs over in redaction last match. Just not loud enough I suppose. But Kosc, it’s more about whether people enjoy singing the song! We love you regardless.


Na nana nana na na na NA
Mathieu Fla-mi-nI
Mathieu Fla-mi-nIIIIII

(baby give it up)

All strikers and their world class
dont count for my Konscielny
Deep in his pockets he has them
wont let go off that grip
so wont you sing with me
this song for LAURENT
Laurent KoOOOOnscielnY ( tone on the Y pronounced as an E though)
defender god


an ice cream for whoever finds where lolo’s tune comes from


Couldn’t we just go with: Laureeeent koscielny! as used for the Dutch skunk back in the days? (before his prolific season that saw it change to the ‘score when he wants’ one)

Raekwon The Chef

It’s not about popularity, but more about what your name rhymes with or what begins to catch on. I’m sure I speak for most of us when I say that Koscielny is one of my favourite players. Let’s think of something and give him what he wants.


Actually, fuck it. Bergy’s didn’t rhyme. We just inserted his name in the Winter Wonderland song. And Giroud’s just rhymes with the song it’s taken from. Jack’s doesn’t rhyme…

I’ll get my coat…


To the tune of Haddaway’s What is love

What is love?
Laurent Koscielny,
my love.

Daan Bach

Stunning, absolute stunning!


“What is love? Laurent Koscielny.”

My brain keeps repeating that part over and over again to the Haddaway tune. It really works! Also, Kos has really earned a proper song by now. He’s fantastic.


This could actually work. Someone just needs to cue with “what is love” and everyone can follow along easily!


This has to be it. Get the message out Blogs, the fans must sing this!

G Nick

It’s perfect, except of my love, say “Lo-lo”. His nickname with the lads, apparently.


Top, top quality. Let’s do it!




How about “we love” instead of “my love” as the last line?


How about a bit of Alanis Morissette? Something like this maybe…

He’s free but he’s focused, he’s green but he’s wise
He’s hard but he’s friendly, baby

And what it all boils down to
Is that he’s really got it all figured out right now
Koscielny’s got [insert opposition striker’s name here] in his pocket
And the BFG’s giving him high fives

We love you Bosscielny!

Djangoon Unchained

Jeez, those thumbs down are a tad harsh. I thought it was actually alright. Probably not good enough to catch on but a sterling effort all the same young sir!

Bould's Eyeliner

think the main problem is I really don’t feel like singing Alanis Morissette during a match. Or when I’m plastered.
E for Effort though

Arsene's Zip

Laurrrrrrrrenttttttttt BOSScielny !!!!!!


It’s dedinitely got to be
“I wanna dance with Koscielny,
I wanna win the league with Koscielny,
With Koscielny who loves us”

Henry! Chance! Goal!!

Let’s work on a song for Kos. Come on, it shouldn’t be that hard to come up with one. Let’s get creative


what a slap in the face for all the commenters before you, lol


He wants his own song, he wants his own soooong, Laurent Koscielny, he wants his own song.


Just brilliant




You just won the internet, well played, Sir.


He got his own song, he wants got own soooong, Laurent Koscielny, he got his own song!!


Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!

Clueless Cat

Seriously, I’m feeling like the densest being on the planet right now, but what’s this a reference to? It’s the top comment and I’ve no idea why.

Somebody. pls


Saffer Gooner

@clueless cat – Sung to the tune of that Dutch cunt’s “He scores when he wants…”

Clueless Cat

Thanks! I’m not based in the UK so I know little about matchday atmospheres and whatnots.

And also thanks to the 1 guy who thumbed up my inquiry! That’s a great consolation that will I’ll carry with me for the rest of my days!


goody! how soon can we make this one official, then?



He wants his own song, he wants his own soooong, Laurent Koscielny, he’s got his own song.


There you have it, Kos just got himself a song.


this will distract him in matches lol

Jay Serrao

Right this is my entry for Kos – Sung to Flash (Queen)

Saviour of the universe.
You saved everyone of us

Defend everyone of us
Stand for everyone of us
He saved with a mighty hand
Every man every woman Every child –
he’s a mighty Kosss //

*Sips tea


Pertinent with an amazing tune. Plus it brings to mind Koscielny uppercutting an opposing striker on the deck of a rocketship.

Gutbukket Deffrolla

He’ll get sent off if he saves with a mighty hand. This sounds more like a song for Szcz. Ahh-aahh.


Amazing. May shit my pants with joy if I heard this being sung while watching on tv.

Henry! Chance! Goal!!

Let’s make up a song about how he keeps strikers in his pocket.


bob the legend , redemption song

All strikers and their world class
dont count for my Konscielny
Deep in his pockets he has them
wont let go off that grip
so wont you sing with me
this song for LAURENT
Laurent KoOOOOnscielnY ( tone on the Y pronounced as an E though)
defender god


I think his name fits well with the tune of ‘We are The Champions’ (the TV show rather than the Queen song).

You sing Laurent Koscielny then clap.


I’ll get my coat again…

Arsenal Induced Heart Attack Survivor

Laurent Koscielny, he scores at a crucial juncture towards the end of the season when he wants…

…or maybe not.


It’s obvious really, surprised no-one has thought of it….

James Brown
“Paid the Kos to be the Boss”




Paid the kos to be the boss!


He’s French, he’s quick, his bird is f*cking fit, Koscielny, Koscielny……………………………


“I wanna dance with Koscienly! I wanna keep clean sheets with Koscienly! Yeah! I wanna dance with Koscienly; yes Koscienly we LOVE YOU!” There you go.

I am your fan sir.

I am your fan, Sir Koscielny. What a bloody good defender. Composed on the field as well as in the head.
Wonderful player to have.

Started from the bottom, now you are here.
Carry on!

Phil C

To the tune of my way, sung slowly:

“He signed from Lorient (loryon), he came to own, oh Koscielny,
He fought for the top four, and then once more, oh Koscielny,
And when he asked for song, we’ll give him more than French heart would have cared for,
We’re proud to have Laurent… Koscieeeeeelny”


Sing to “Oh my darling Clementine”

Koscielny Koscielny,
stops the strikers going by
with his left foot, with his right foot
Never one to never try


Not one to sing but i love the away boyz cover ”get lucky” ”a song about koscielny”. You can find it on YouTube. Maybe someone can send it to him.

Gandalf's Kebab

Sagna needs one to. Especially if he stays.


Already do ‘sagna, sagna, bacary sagna, he’s got dodgy hair but we don’t care, bacary sagna’


CHANT for Kos the boss: Crowded House’s Everywhere You Go…

‘Everywhere you go always take Koscielny with you, everywhere you go always take Koscielny!’


A bit ironic he wants his own song when he takes the songs right out of the lips of opposing fans via his stalemate, shut down defense!


This could be either totally shit or quite brilliant.
To the tune of Hey Mickey:

Oh Lau-rent Ko-sci-elny Lau-rent Ko-sci-elny

In Soviet Russia, WENGA sacks YOU

It’s totally shit.

Carib Gooner

And this good people is how to get someone to never comment again. Good job sir (y)

Gutbukket Deffrolla

Nobody with the wit to call himself eternalflamini would ever allow himself to be crushed beneath the Soviet boot


I say we take the chavs’ irritating moaninho chant and replace the words with Lolo Koscielny
It’ll catch on

Arsense Around

Why does arseblog always refer to Giroud’s “good looks”. This is a football column not a girl’s mag. Jog on.

Stewart Robson's therapist

Because he’s THAT good looking.


James Brown – The Boss

Paid the Kos to be the boss
Paid the Kos to be the boss
We paid the Kos to be the boss

Look at him you know what you see
You see a bad mutha
Look at him you know what you see
You see a bad mutha

Dark Stein

What about:

Koscielny! woah oh ah oh!
His surname doesn’t rhyme,
He blocks shots all the time!


Didn’t we have “I wanna dance with Koscielny”?

Merlin's Panini

To “there’s a hole in my pocket Dear Lisa”

There’s a skunk in my pocket
Koscielny koscielny
There’s a skunk in my pocket
A skunk

That’s the one to sing against United. The rest of the time “a skunk” could simply be replaced with “some cunt”.


He’s got your whole attack, in his pocket. Laurent koscielny hes got your whole attack in his pocket


Lauren Koscielny
Lauren Koscielny
no time for Dawson
cause we’ve got Koscielny!

(To the tune of we are the Champions by Queen)

Dave M

(Sung to BFG’s tune)

He looks like Bart fucking Simpson,
Bart fucking Simpson
Bart, fucking Siiiimpson,
He looks like Bart fucking Simpson.

(Que Sera tune)
Laurent Koscielny,
Where ever you’ll be, he’ll be.
The goal you will not see,
Laurent Koscielny.

Luke Fergus

He puts the tackles in,
He’s gonna take you out,
In out, in out, play the ball about
Strikers see Laurent Koscielny, then they turn around,
That what we’re all about

Oh Laurent Koscielny, Oh Laurent Koscielny! Oh Laurent Koscielny!
Knees bend, arms stretch ra ra ra


BIG TUNE, great idea! I’ll be singing this even if no one else does.


lool i like that one


They could have a TV show, “A song for Kos”, presented by an affable Irishman. Blogs, are you affable?

Born Free rhymes with Koscielny, and it has a simple and well known tune.

My version, with the original lyrics that have been replaced written in brackets;

Koscielny (Born free)
Laurent Koscielny (As free as the wind blows)
Laurent Koscielny (As free as the grass grows)
Koscielny, Laurent Koscielny (Born free, to follow your heart)

I think my lyrics are particuarly imaginitive.


base Kos’ tune on ‘let it be’

Koscielny Koscielny Koscielny Koscielny
Great f*cking defender
Koscielny y y y


this is great


I’m with sebtinks that’s gotta be the one


Koscielny, wooooh,
Koscielny, wooooh
He’s a fucking rocket
You’ll find Suarez in his pocket
Koscielny, wooooh…


James Brown – The Boss

Paid the Kos to be the boss
Paid the Kos to be the boss
We paid the Kos to be the boss

KO-SCIEL-NY ! you know what you see
You see a bad mutha
KO-SCIEL-NY ! you know what you see
You see a bad mutha


“Or maybe they don’t like me.”
That’s not it, mate. I think every single Gooner likes him, whether it being for his massive striker-labeled pockets or not.

jonny w

to the tune of “na na na hey hey goodbye””

Na na na na na na
hey hey laurent koscielny