Arsene Wenger has again stressed that buying footballers isn’t as simple as going into a cheese shop and saying, “Some cheese, please!” and the man gives you the cheese and then you go home and eat the cheese – possibly in a toasted cheese sandwich which as we know is a truly great sandwich.
However, he says he’s in the market to do some January business and, thankfully, not for cheese but for a footballer.
“I would like to remind you that to buy football players is not to go into a supermarket and just say: ‘I want to buy a right-back or a centre-back,’ he said.
“It’s to find the right quality. If you go out tomorrow, you will see that everybody looks for the same positions everywhere. It’s not as simple as it looks.
“In January, it is even more difficult because players are even less available than in June or July. But we will try to be creative and have one or two good ideas.”
Speaking about potential recruits, he continued, “I always have lists that you readjust because you come in on Monday, someone has seen a player and you have to follow up, watch him again, then watch him again and someone else has to watch him
“Then when you come to a conclusion I have to watch him again. It takes time so that work never stops.”
But with a pressing need for a new defender, Wenger said, ” In January we will, of course, try to get at least one body in.”
Let’s hope it’s not the body of Laura Palmer, found wrapped in plastic on a beach, while suspicion falls on James Hurley and Bobby Briggs before we discover the awful truth and are subjected to the evil of BOB.
A central defender would be best. And if that doesn’t work, we recommend a nice Brie.