Report: Arsenal 4-0 Aston Villa (inc goals & highlights)

Giroud hat-trick Villa

Arsenal: Cech, Bellerin, Gabriel, Koscielny, Monreal, Coquelin, Wilshere, Cazorla, Ozil, Alexis, Giroud

Subs: Ospina, Gibbs, Arteta, Ramsey, Elneny, Campbell, Iwobi

Olivier Giroud hit a hat-trick to help Arsenal to a 4-0 win over Aston Villa at the Emirates this afternoon, meaning the Gunners finished second in the lead because Sp*rs got smashed 5-1 by 10 man Newcastle at St James’ Park.

Arsene Wenger handed starts to Jack Wilshere and Santi Cazorla, with Mikel Arteta on the bench. Sadly, there was no place in the squad for Tomas Rosicky.

The Gunners started brightly, dominating possession, and took the lead in the 5th minute. Monreal crossed from the left after good work by Alexis, and Giroud planted a firm header into the bottom corner. 1-0.

It might have been 1-1 shortly afterwards when Gabriel was beaten all too easily, but Laurent Koscielny was on hand to clear the danger. Westwood had a shot which didn’t trouble Petr Cech, before there were cheers around the ground as it emerged Newcastle had taken the lead against Sp*rs.

It wasn’t a game of great quality, a real end of season feel to it from both sides. Ozil combined well with Giroud and should have shot from the Frenchman’s layoff but, mind on that assist record, tried another pass which didn’t find the target.

Fantastic play from Alexis saw him fizz a shot just wide, before Jack Wilshere should have doubled the lead. Alexis crossed it to the back post, the England man running in but he couldn’t control the bouncing ball with his right foot, putting it wide.

Ozil then found the Chilean with a beautiful dinked pass but he couldn’t connect on the turn, and the half ended with more cheers as Newcastle went 2-0 up against Sp*rs.

There were no change for either side at the break, nor in the quality of the football fare on offer. Arsenal seemed unable to put the game to the sword, leaving things all a bit up in the air. The crowd got right behind the side to urge them on, but the team couldn’t respond.

Sp*rs got one back at Newcastle to make it 2-1 there. Joleon Lescott went off to be replaced by Micah Richards, before Cech made a decent save from Ayew. At St James’ Park Mitrovic got sent off, Elneny came on for Jack Wilshere, and Alexis fired a free kick from a dangerous position harmlessly over the bar.

Elneny wasted a good chance after good work from Alexis and Ozi, before 10 man Newcastle went 3-1 up against Sp*rs with a penalty. Cazorla forced the keeper into a save, and it was all getting a bit nervy, until the lead was extended in the 78th minute.

Mesut Ozil provided the assist, a low cross to the near post, and Giroud swept it home with his left foot to make it 2-0. The players ran to celebrate with Rosicky and Arteta. Moments later it was 3-0, Bellerin providing the pass, Giroud tucking it underneath the keeper for his hat-trick!

Hilarious stuff, as long as Newcastle held on at home. Alexis almost made it four and Newcastle hilariously extended their lead, the 10 men making it 4-1. And then they made it 5-1, hilarious!

Arsenal made changes, taking off Ozil and Cazorla, and putting on Joel Campbell and skipper Mikel Arteta for the final time. The pair entered the pitch to huge applause from a crowd that were now thoroughly enjoying their day out.

“It’s happened again”, they sang. And it had.


In injury time, Arsenal made it 4-0. Ostensibly a Mikel Arteta goal, but the Spaniard’s shot hit the bar, and rebounded back in off the keeper. It’ll probably go down as an own goal, but we know it was his.


The full time whistle went, Arsenal finish second as Sp*rs collapse. Too much fun.


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The Mert


Mississippi Gunner

This is a dream, isn’t it


Finally can start to watch Match of the Day again …
You’re still shit, Tottenham Hotspur you’re always be shit !!!

Hahahahaha ahahahaha


The media have been masturbating to the other London clubs, Sperms and West Ham, for months. Sh*t finish below us and West Ham don’t even make Europa. This is what you get by betting on the wrong horse! London is RED!


All the other so call “top teams” under performed but Arsenal is the only one being bashed left, right & centre!

My Turn

The best Sp*rs team in the last few decades couldn’t even finish above THIS Arsenal team? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….

Third Plebeian

Pochettino is a genius, they said. Louis Van Gaal is a tactical genius, they said.

Non, Wenger said.

A welcome and surprising finish to an otherwise forgettable season.


This is unbelievably funny!!


Ha Ha. We’ve gunned down the cock yet again! Totteringham Day Greetings to all of you fellow Gooners


Har har funniest shite ever
Spuds ….the gift that keeps on giving

Good Omens

It is, pinch yourself. Genuinely who thought this would happen 3 weeks ago, taking their form into account. We all hoped, we hoped with balls out and the threat of the dancing a’holes, but it was still only hope. Hope realised, bum burnt. Their back must be broken, that must hurt so much. Delightful.


Happy St. Tott’s to you all!!! COYG!

Woohoo! Amazing!

2nd place is not what we wanted. Sadly, it is what we’ve earned. This is a tasty little consolation, though, since we’ve not played up to the quality that we’ve thought we were.


My Turn

If only Leicester had been relegated last season, we would have been Champions now!

Bob's Mexican Cousin

Here’s to he Least Incompetent trophy!

Bottled it, no question, but nice to finish on a high. First top-2 since Highbury


After all the ups and downs this year its like farking Hollywood. Twists, turns and a fairytale ending with Newcastle providing the lasagna. When Mikel scored I was literally laughing and crying both at the same time. See children there really IS a St Totteringham. Oh ye of little faith. Slap up tea and copious amounts of alcohol. Let the festivities commence. Sp*rs, the gift that keeps on giving

Tom Thumb

Happy St totteringhams day

Bob Davis

I didn’t get to watch the match, but still, we won and well done to Giroud for his hat-trick.

All I can say about Sp?rs is: Hahahahahahaha.

Newcastle down to 10 men and they still lose 5-1.

What a bunch of jokers.

Arsenal will always finish above Sp?rs! It’s just a fact of life!

Trying to copy our style of football and scoring like Barcelona or something.

Get back to mid-table where you belong!




Happy St. Totteringham’s Day!!!


What do we think of Tottenham.?

But most importantly

What does shit think of Tottenham?

Good Omens

Shit if we’re honest probably doesn’t even want to be part of the equation any more. There are limits even for shit.


At least a shit can fertilize a plant and help them grow.

Please do justice for shit and stop comparing ‘them’ to shit


On behalf of all Gooners thank you Sp8*ds for bottling it spectacularly ! We cannot thank you enough! Ha, Ha. Blessed St. Totteringham’s Day to all gooners around the world.

raron aamsey

funniest thing that’s ever happened.


It’s happened again.

Armchair Expert


Do Sp*rs fans still want Arsene Wenger to stay? 😀


Me at 2:30pm: “Well, it doesn’t really matter who finishes 2nd and who finishes 3rd, they’re both automatic qualification for the CL and falling short of the title.” Me at 5pm: “HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA… Read more »

David C

I love this comment! Totally agree. It’s my birthday tomorrow as well; what a hilariously awesome early present today proved to be.

This one actually feels like a trophy!


St. Totteringham’s Day + Birthday = Xmas Day x 1,000


My favourite comment of the whole season.


You say what we’re all laughing!

Too Drunk To Be Offside

Happy St. Totteringham Day

Arteta Fan

Congrats Mikel!!! Congrats Wenger! congrats Giroud And We will miss you little Mozart!


it’s happened again, it’s happened agaaaain…


2nd place for first time after 2004 – 2005 season.. Arsenal’s bad season ?

A Yank

What a wonderful way to end a maddening season.

50 Shades of Gandalf the Grey

Best St Totteringham’s day yet!!

It’s happened again!!


I’m going to post my best comment of the season: HAHAHAHAHA SPU*S!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!


i would have liked to see arteta and rosicky exchange shirts at the end. shame we couldn’t see rozza in the red and white once more. he’ll still go down in Arsenal history.


Truly hilarious
Just wait for the DVD!


It’s been a very disappointing season, we have been frustrating and performances often poor. Our scoring record at home has almost been relegation form, our supporters are more divided than I can ever remember. And still the fuckers can’t finish above us hahahahahahahaha!


How did Giroud come to know of the scoreline of the other match 😛

Gooner Russ

How very Arsenal. Brilliant!


One of our poorer ones is still better than their best…again

Merry St. Totteringham’s day everyone, beers in now.


Dear Sp*rs

Please finish second next season. That way our league win is guaranteed.





it’s a given, isn’t it? HAHA!


Happy St. Tott’s Day everyone!
What a day for Giroud’s hat-trick!
And a fairy tale end for Captain Arteta by scoring a goal! [let’s say it wasn’t an own goal…] It was written in the stars~ !


Happy St Totteringhams day everyone!

What a perfect day of football, only thing that could’ve made it better was if TR7 had been on to bang in a goal as well.

Arteta Fan

A message for the mob….perhaps when things get tough next year, when all seems lost, when you have lost your confidence and need some support….maybe your team will come through and provide the positive atmosphere that can provide that xtra little/big push we all need sometimes. Or the team can act like the mob and just quit on you


congratulations petr cech on the golden glove!

John C

Well wasn’t that fun, watching Spur fall apart! But lets be honest we should aspire to more than being finishing above Tottenham and as Keown just said on TV, when we were winning proper trophies no one cared where Spurs finished and there’s a lot of work to be done. The worry is that after finishing second, and Giroud getting a hat trick Wenger thinks this season has been one of progress when in fact we’ve regressed quite badly. We’ve got out of jail, finished with automatic champions league qualification and now we have to do the business that needs… Read more »


so glad you’re enjoying the moment, Vivian.


Feckin autocorrect.

John C

Don’t get me wrong i thought it was hilarious but i just don’t derive a great deal of pleasure from other peoples misfortune, what i really want to see is Arsenal succeed!

Dave A.

Happy St Totteringham’s Day!

Won a treble this year it seems too


It’s a funny old game, innit? Hahahahahaha.


Is this real life

Lone Star Gunner

Was just going to post a massive HAHAHAH cut and paste but others beat me to it.

So, how about a little Wilshere chant:

What do you think of Tottenham?


What do you think of shit?




Spare a thought for the Sp*rs fans who travelled all the way to Newcastle and have the long journey home knowing they finished below yet again. LMAO!

Good Omens

Truly, I was reading posts by them, as we all probably were saying – ”Happy Arsene’s day”…completely missing the point,

Bob Davis

All that way and you lose in that fashion. Enjoy the ride home knowing your shit and you know you are!

A nice end to the season!


Football is only for one thing – bragging rights.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I cannot actually believe it. Happy St Totteringham’s day one and all!!!


The smile on my face feels like it will last all summer.

Happy St. Totteringhams day!!!!


Many thought it was over when Newcastle got relegated (myself included). What we learnt though was to never underestimate the power of players putting themselves in the shop window.

1-1 at Newcastle was banter but this is something I can’t put into words.


Gotta give it to Wenger.Always gets the bare minimum right.Disappointed how the season petered but delighted we finish 2nd after a long time.Oh Spurs…Happy belated St totteringham day.

Super Joshi

Wenger may have many faults, but he’s never finished below Tottenham.


even their best season aint enough! the sh*ts!!!!

el nino

What you think of Tottenham?!



3 year extension for Giroud so he can remind Pochettino every season!


Hahahahhaah fucking Spurs you pack of dumb basterds! We couldn’t give our boys a trophy laden send off we’d dreamed of but those bell ends made sure they could go out laughing! Honestly we should send spurs a gift basket, at the end of every shitty season they do something to remind us it’s not all that bad; we may not have won the title, but we’re also not Tottenham!


Goodbye Tomas, Mathieu and Mikel. Thank you for all the memories

lovely arse

Wow. Just wow. How funny. Will make the summer WAAAAAAAY more fun. Couldn’t have handled a summer behind them. Mind the gap and all that.. pricks.






Tottenfreude? It feels nice.


Christian Eriksen speaking to Sky Sports: “It hurts a lot (not to finish second). The last four games we needed one more point and we can only blame ourselves for the last four games


AW….our insurance stamp to finish above SPÙRS. ..sign the d*** thing AW.

broken red army

Kudos to Toties for their title challenge the only thing they needed to win it was some vitamin K. forever being in Arsenal’s shadow. 😀