Sanogo has ‘confidential but not life threatening’ problem

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After last night’s 2-0 defeat to Southampton in the EFL Cup, Arsene Wenger was asked about the whereabouts of Yaya Sanogo.

The Frenchman has been nowhere to be seen this season, not even in this particularly competition, and it seems fairly obvious that injury is the cause.

However, the manager’s comments were a bit odd. He said Sanogo has a calf problem but explained it in a rather odd way. Here’s what he said verbatim:

“He had a real medical problem, you know, that I cannot explain to you here because it’s a confidential problem.”

“Not a secret problem, but it’s medical. I cannot speak about that medically but it’s no life threatening problem.

“He had a long-term injury and I am not specialised enough to explain to you what it is in his calf, but we had to rest him completely.”

So, there you go.

Sanogo was hardly likely to play much of a part this season, given we bought Lucas, to go with Alexis, Giroud and the returning Danny Welbeck, but for those wondering where he was, we have the answer.

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Maddolove
Maddolove

Park Syndrome

ebou
ebou

Underwent penile reduction surgery at the start of the season. Should be fit by the new year.

spinner
spinner

Does your penis start at your calf?
You might want to see a doctor about that.

Dale Cooper
Dale Cooper

No, but that’s where mine ends.

Sorry

Crash Fistfight
Crash Fistfight

Do you tuck it into your sock?

Lord Bendtner
Lord Bendtner

Oh man I laughed at this ?

Fireman Sam
Fireman Sam

Ouch

Matt
Matt

Wenger is a master of the unfathomable statement. Was this something lost in translation?

Bould's Eyeliner
Bould's Eyeliner

Truly… “what it is in his calf” what the flying fuck was in his calf

Morbius
Morbius

I worry that football clubs can use a mysterious long term “injury” to cover up some kind of drug suspension – especially if it for a social drug rather than performance enhancing. This has certainly happened in tennis, for instance.
I’ve no idea if this is the case here, but it sounds very odd

GunnerDareMACEDONIA
GunnerDareMACEDONIA

You thin wenger would let sanogo stay at the club if he used drugs, relly ?

Morbius
Morbius

Maybe if it was for something like cannabis or a missed test – not for a major issue

Matt
Matt

People spread that kind of conspiracy theory because it’s in principle not disprovable.

The Only Olivier is Giroud
The Only Olivier is Giroud

He has a pair of testicles growing from his calf is my guess.

Hank Scorpio
Hank Scorpio

Could be a blood clot.Get well Sanogoals. Can’t wait to see him back in action pumping the ball into row z

Goongot
Goongot

Well we were crying for a physical presence yesterday and he would have been of some help…. I will always remember his fa cup final contribution.. Also he dominated a very strong bayern munich defense in ucl match for us… Recover well sanogo

Rossi88
Rossi88

I hear what your saying…but you can only keep pointing at a couple of performances for so long. I had high hopes when he came in, stuck up for him when needed. But he hasn’t done alot when fit at this club or loan spells. Git rid imo when fit, support him until then.

Adriano
Adriano

Well he hasn’t really played many games for us, so those positive performances are still a decent chunk of his Arsenal career

Rectum Spectrum
Rectum Spectrum

Spot on. People forget/ignore how well he did that night against Bayern.

gunn cabinet
gunn cabinet

Damn right, Boss Wenger. I always suspected there was something intrinsically confidential about calves; like they are secret Targaryens or something…

Wengerballz
Wengerballz

He has aboudiabetes

s k
s k

Hopefully he is fine. Hus finest moment in an Arsenal shirt so far is last 20mins in the FA Cup final agaisnt Hull. Created total chaos for his teamates and importantly the opposition alike!

Albioff
Albioff

He just has a lack of footballing ability in his calf, they had to rest him completely.

Jenko's Arsenal footie pyjamas
Jenko's Arsenal footie pyjamas

We need proof of life Arsene, it sounds a lot like he’s chained to something

bazza-wicks
bazza-wicks

so he gave some bird a Venereal disease and her reaction was to kick him in the calf sounds medically logical

Cliff Bastin
Cliff Bastin

Buttocks exploded

alan 'greavsie ' selley
alan 'greavsie ' selley

Dear dear , some really infantile posting on here .

SuchAnArse
SuchAnArse

Must be an STD

SuchAnArse
SuchAnArse

Like a Sanogo Transmitted Disease

You know Theo
You know Theo

What’s the latest on an expected comeback date for Dat Guy?

Gardenov
Gardenov

As he faced the press ahead of Middlesbrough’s visit to Emirates Stadium, Arsene Wenger gave an update on Danny Welbeck’s progress: “He could be back in January. After that let’s not forget he was already out for a year, so we might have to be patient. To get him back to a really competitive level… it will certainly take two months of competition to get back to his best. No [he is not out running yet], he will be starting to run in two weeks.”
Read more at http://www.arsenal.com/team-news#XzFbCzuRZPGfJvRz.99

Arsepedant
Arsepedant

Further update from today’s presser – Wele’s back in training and hopes to rejoin the team before the end of December.

heihaci
heihaci

Diaby v2.0

Arsepedant
Arsepedant

Tasteless.

Peggers123
Peggers123

Mental illness?

DB10's Air Miles
DB10's Air Miles

In his calf?

Mpls
Mpls

Footballing jokes aside, the man obviously has a serious difficulty to deal with. Have some fucking respect.

Sometimes I really hate the Internet.

Mpls
Mpls

Get well soon Yaya.

Teryima Adi
Teryima Adi

Here’s wishing you all the best in life, Yaya. Get well soon.

Smits Mckey
Smits Mckey

I bet it’s compartment syndrome, which can be a very serious condition, though not life-threatening. There is the risk of amputation, however.

This is a not-uncommon condition in American football players do to all of the physical contact. Haven’t heard too much about it in soccer, but I think there was an American international player who had the condition in the last few years. Don’t really feel like looking it up..

Smits Mckey
Smits Mckey

“If left unchecked, the decreased circulation to the muscles decreases the amount of oxygen available to the tissues and can lead to irreversible tissue death within the compartment.

“Compartment syndrome can be chronic in nature, developing gradually over the course of playing soccer. It can also occur acutely during a single action exertion like when an athletes kick is blocked at the shin by another player. There are four muscle compartments in the lower leg (anterior, posterior, lateral, medial); the anterior compartment on the front of the lower leg is most frequently affected.”