A tsunami of change has washed across Arsenal’s training ground at London Colney in the last three months.
A Frenchman who spent 22 years talking to the trees has departed and in his place, a Spaniard, whose relationship with oak saplings is still a mystery, has arrived.
Coaching staff have left. New staff have replaced them. Players have departed. New players have been signed. Invincibles have left. Invincibles have returned. Training methods have changed.
The medical team has been restructured. CRYO chambers have replaced cupboards. Vic’s washing machine is being operated by someone else. And cones are have been used upside down, contrary to the methods preferred by Ryo Miyaichi.
Like we said…a tsunami of change.
And now, courtesy of Football.London’s Charles Watts, we learn of even more change. A change to get Bowie stuttering and Dylan rhyming. Wait for it…
There’s a new desk in the press conference room.
Yep, the trusty four-legged trestle table (we’re guessing here), which came with its own granite grey, cotton cloth covering, has been replaced by a bespoke, space-aged design with sleek curves, a white veneer and in-built neon red accent lighting.
Slap bang in the middle is a massive Arsenal crest, just to remind you who bloody owns the thing. It’s Arsenal’s table ladies and gentlemen. It belongs to the Gunners.
We can only speculate how much this piece of furniture has cost the club; definitely, more than we spent on a right-back this summer, that’s for sure. Fingers crossed we get to see the club’s accounts before Stan hides them from us once and for all.
Anyway, all hail the new table. You’ll get the chance to see it in action soon, the club will be broadcasting Unai Emery’s first Premier League press conference of the season at some point this afternoon.