The tables have turned at London Colney. Literally.

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A tsunami of change has washed across Arsenal’s training ground at London Colney in the last three months.

A Frenchman who spent 22 years talking to the trees has departed and in his place, a Spaniard, whose relationship with oak saplings is still a mystery, has arrived.

Coaching staff have left. New staff have replaced them. Players have departed. New players have been signed. Invincibles have left. Invincibles have returned. Training methods have changed.

The medical team has been restructured. CRYO chambers have replaced cupboards. Vic’s washing machine is being operated by someone else. And cones are have been used upside down, contrary to the methods preferred by Ryo Miyaichi.

Like we said…a tsunami of change.

And now, courtesy of Football.London’s Charles Watts, we learn of even more change. A change to get Bowie stuttering and Dylan rhyming. Wait for it…

There’s a new desk in the press conference room. 

Yep, the trusty four-legged trestle table (we’re guessing here), which came with its own granite grey, cotton cloth covering, has been replaced by a bespoke, space-aged design with sleek curves, a white veneer and in-built neon red accent lighting.

Slap bang in the middle is a massive Arsenal crest, just to remind you who bloody owns the thing. It’s Arsenal’s table ladies and gentlemen. It belongs to the Gunners.

The old press conference table and its trusty grey companion…gone too soon. RIP.
The old table in action – it dealt well with the changing face of the mobile phone, providing a sturdy surface no what matter the iPhone.
Welcome to the 22nd Century…

We can only speculate how much this piece of furniture has cost the club; definitely, more than we spent on a right-back this summer, that’s for sure. Fingers crossed we get to see the club’s accounts before Stan hides them from us once and for all.

Anyway, all hail the new table. You’ll get the chance to see it in action soon, the club will be broadcasting Unai Emery’s first Premier League press conference of the season at some point this afternoon.

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Mootilated
Mootilated

I actually really like it. I am enjoying this wave of change and hope for the best.

Russ
Russ

And there were those who doubted our planning this summer…

Mpls
Mpls

Planing?

Papyrus
Papyrus

Haha.. I see what you did there..

Gunnersaurus's extinct lover
Gunnersaurus's extinct lover

So the club decides to spend 100m£ on a table and not a worldclass winger. Rev up the plane engines boys, we’re flying our silly banners again.

Maniac
Maniac

Welcome to the future boys!

goonerdavem
goonerdavem

Shouldn’t that be “welcome to the furniture boys”?

The Jeff (RIP)
The Jeff (RIP)

I blame Wenger. When he was clearing out his office it would have been “well errr I’ve used this stapler for 20 years, I’m taking it, and er… this cup, yes this is mine, and this table, I bought it from home, you can’t prove I didn’t, I was here before all of you. Back when Vic wore short trousers”

The_Kolkata_Gooner
The_Kolkata_Gooner

You mean these “six Cups”?

Nick

honestly they really need to find a way to hide those cables. why block the most beautiful table in the prem with those hideous things.

Mpls
Mpls

I looked at that in utter disbelief. The designer should be sued for overlooking the singular most important function of the table (ok maybe 2nd after hiding the fact the new boss prefers to interview without pants).

Um, let’s see, what will this table be used for? Er, Microphones? Maybe?

For a nominal fee and materials (plus time, travel, and lodging) I’ll fly over and cut a channel near the base and another in the desktop just behind the frontispiece to feed the cables through.

Or they could just require wireless tech I suppose.

TeeCee
TeeCee

That’s all right. In a minute someone will come along here to tell us about a 1960s designer table they’ve seen in a museum in Copenhagen that had really good cable management which we should have bought instead.
Of course it’ll have a damaged foot and not be for sale at any price, but still….

Reality Cech
Reality Cech

Couldn’t get a new centre back so we got a new centre piece instead

Hantal
Hantal

It’s going to start against city, replacing Mertesacker as our slow moving immovable object

Mpls
Mpls

BFT

gooner
gooner

Adds a bit of width we’ve been crying for

Moley Mole the mole who lives in a hole
Moley Mole the mole who lives in a hole

Truly a worthwhile investment… but it looks rubbish with all those cables trailing over the front!

VAgooner
VAgooner

all that and they couldn’t even swing it so the wires ran down under the table? i mean, why bother with a big new crest if it’s just going to look lost behind a bunch of dangling wires?

Reservation Under Flamini
Reservation Under Flamini

I for one welcome our new table overload. All hail the table!

Arsene's zip
Arsene's zip

In table we trust.

poly
poly

Table Out

Gunnerjoe
Gunnerjoe

I am expecting to have a bid tabled very soon from Europe

Mpls
Mpls

We’ve finally scaled up to accept the realities of the current table market. #IvanKnows

Samyke
Samyke

Hope the investment makes us a “Table-topper”

Billy Bob
Billy Bob

Trestle be ace 😉

Boom Xhaka Laca
Boom Xhaka Laca

Is this simply a piece of furniture, or a profound piece of modern art that represents the Premier League itself: an absurdly expensive table with Arsenal slap bang in the middle of it?

Mootilated
Mootilated

hah. excellent.

Mpls
Mpls

Oh, that’s good.

A Different George
A Different George

The table does not lie.

Ordnance Dave
Ordnance Dave

Typical corner cutting from the club!

Big Mad Andy
Big Mad Andy

Factory Records – as portrayed in 24 Hour Party People – got an expensive new table; look what happened to them after that…

Naija Gunner
Naija Gunner

Loving the new changes except the sale of Usmanov’s shares!

shokim
shokim

That’s a flashy new piece of furniture. Must’ve cost a few coins…

Bosscielny
Bosscielny

The signs of Kroenke regime is showing. Arsenal is mid table

Best news ever
Best news ever

Special price on table:
£40m + £1

Alex
Alex

Ok, maybe I’m being dumb here but can someone explain what the other room is then? When I went on the stadium tour we were shown into the conference room (or so I thought) and the front looked much more like a stage in an auditorium with built in desk and funky leather chairs. I never saw that desk in the first photo?